Thursday, March 4, 2021

Modern review of fortunes.

Dear friends, you may recall that this site has a minor fixation with the fortunes contained in Chinese fortune cookies. More than four years ago I reported on how lame the fortunes in these cookies had become—boring, rote, and devoid of prognostication. The following year I reported on the sad case of Donald Lau, author of thousands of cookie fortunes, who retired after thirty years due to a crushing case of writer's block. Then, in 2019, I noted that the fortunes within out cookies had gotten even lousier -- the nadir perhaps being "Take your time today so you won't walk in mud." After that I was about ready to ask the restaurant to hold the cookies. It was too depressing.

Well, now it's 2021, and I thought I'd revisit the fortune cookie game to see if any improvement had been shown. I don't blame them for failing to predict the Chinese Death Virus; I really don't expect accuracy in their forecasts, just cleverness and wit. And the fortune cookie is as all-American as I am, so I don't accuse the cookies of conspiring with the Chinese Communist Party to rack us with disease. We all suffered together.

Anyway, here's a recent collection of fortunes, so let's see if the writing has gotten any better. 


This one is kind of funny. Not sure it's true, though. The hammer hits the anvil as hard as the anvil is hit by the hammer, plus the hammer gets swung all over the place like crazy. Maybe it's better to be the anvil, hmm? Well, made me think.


Here's a profound one. Yes, indeed, if the cake tastes like mud, a nice frosting may make it look good but won't do much for the flavor. And if a crazy person dresses nice he or she is still a crazy person. Books / covers. Not a fortune per se, but a good message. 


Hey, cool! A fortune! A little pedestrian, but upbeat and encouraging. 


And here some more wisdom -- we can complain about the cards we're dealt in life, but we have to play them as best as we can. Again, not a fortune, but good advice. 

Well, from this brief survey I think we may be on the fortune cookie upswing. I'm hoping so, anyway. We could all use some good fortunes at this point in our lives, I think. 

3 comments:

raf said...

I like the "fortunes" you can find at despair.com.

but that's just me, finding humor in unfortunate truth.

Mongo919 said...

Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.

A bird pooped on my head during my morning walk today, so sometimes you're the commode. Like working in a large corporation. Or retail. But wearing a hat doesn't help in those places.

FredKey said...

I want to open one that says "Wax on, Wax off." But I guess that would be a Japanese fortune cookie.