Monday, September 26, 2022
Sunday, September 25, 2022
Saturday, September 24, 2022
Friday, September 23, 2022
So autumn pulled in yesterday and did doughnuts on the lawn, or maybe that was dog Izzy. It crashed the last of summer's party at nine last night, and this morning the temperature was in the forties. The torch has been passed. The equinox has been equinoxed.
In other words, Fall has Fell, and I'm next.
The problem is not autumn, of course, but that it is followed by winter, and that's where most of the trouble starts. Regular readers -- however irregular they may be in other ways -- know that I have a bad back and a tendency to collect concussions, and it's all made me down on winter. Worst of all, it's sucked a lot of joy out of autumn, which was always my favorite season.
If that's not enough, Creeping Holiday Syndrome is beginning to overrun autumn entirely. I am intending to brave the shores of Walmart today, and I'll bet you I find Christmas decorations already on sale. They just can't help themselves.
If you're in the neighborhood for the next six months, I'll be the guy with the Golden struggling to remain vertical through thick and thin. Those being: snow and ice. Stop and say hi, and give me a hand up if I've become spontaneously horizontal, will you? I thank you for your support.
UPDATE: This morning.
Thursday, September 22, 2022
Wednesday, September 21, 2022
I see Google is getting into its usual act, trying to make it easier for people who are too dumb to vote to get out and vote.
The company would deny that it's trying to get only one particular kind of voter -- Leftist -- just as it would deny that its search results skew toward liberal media sources on any topic. But we know.
Leftists, who think they are smarter than us idiots, somehow always do things to try to get the least-informed people to notch a ballot, and do it as many times as possible. This has been going on since the big Democrat machines of the Boss Tweed era, but has been institutionalized since Bill Clinton's Motor Voter Act of 1993. The idea then was to latch on to dumdums who wouldn't cross the street to vote but had to go to the Motor Vehicles department in their state, and get them to register to vote. It was opposed at the time by Rightists, but not very strongly, because no one wants to say that people who couldn't care less about voting should be discouraged from doing so.
Well, I'll say it.
MTV got on the bandwagon back when its M stood for Music (I think now it stands for Moron). Back in 1990 the station promoted the Rock the Vote nonprofit to get know-nothings off the sofa and into the voting booths. It was nominally nonpartisan, but we all know the way dummies who think the government exists to rob from the rich and give to everyone else will vote -- "Robbing selective Peter to pay for collective Paul," as Kipling put it. Back then it was assumed that all the rich people were white-shoed Thurston Howell IIIs, who would be made to pony up so college students and dropouts alike could have a cornucopia of free stuff.
Things look rather different now. The rich people are all into radical chic and the nation is a lot farther in debt -- and the welfare state has expanded far beyond the fever dreams of FDR.
An uninformed -- or worse, misinformed -- population is not fit for representative government, and this was a key reason public education was accepted nationally. But now we find that public education is becoming a large source of misinformation for youth. Some things voters ought to know but don't include:
✅ How government spending and debt affects the value of money itself;
✅ How rich people hide their money to keep it safe from taxation in ways the middle class cannot do;
✅ How the middle class is the only thing that keeps serfdom at bay, by having the wherewithal to stand up for itself;
✅ How the rotten history of any other country on this earth compares to that of the United States;
✅ How bills really become laws in the current degraded state of Congress (see for example the monstrosity called Obamacare)*;
✅ How much harder life is for the ignorant;
✅ How stable marriage is the best defense against poverty for men and women;
✅ How education has been directed toward frivolous tribalism and away from important facts -- facts of life that continue to operate whether we are aware of them or not.
Unfortunately, the more our stupid citizens (and others), educated in terrible schools, get out there and vote, the more stupid government we are likely to have. The basics of civilized society are not that hard to master, and yet somehow people can get through graduate school and know nothing about them. Alas!
*For example, how Charles Rangel introduced a spending bill in the House (where all spending bills must originate) with the friendly and anodyne title of "Service Members Home Ownership Tax Act of 2009"; the bill got to the Senate where it was completely stripped of its title and all its innards, stuffed as full of pork and socialism as a Thanksgiving turkey, then reconciled with the House under its new monstrous form -- a Trojan House virus, if you will -- to pretend that the spending bill originated in the people's House as demanded by the Constitution. It should have been thrown out by the Supreme Court just for that.
Tuesday, September 20, 2022
I don't know if you've ever made a recipe using prosciutto crudo, but if you ever do, don't do the stupid thing I did.
Ah, yes, that delightful Italianate baconesque smoked pig, razor-thin slices of which are often found wrapped around melon, topped on bruschetta, or infusing salty wonder into recipes like this one. If you've ever eaten it, you know it's the best thing to come out of Italy since Marconi. If you've ever prepared a dish with it, you might be able to guess what double-dumbass thing I did.
So there I am, cooking away, the prosciutto sitting patiently in its packaging on the counter, waiting to be chopped and then make its big entrance into the pan. When there's a break in the action I peel open the airtight plastic, and -- thinking this was like ordinary bacon -- I take my sharp little paring knife and zip zap zup run a crisscross pattern over the ham, cutting through all the slices.
And also the razor-thin plastic sheet that separates each slice.
Now, instead of peeling each bit of porcine goodness off the plastic sheet by sheet, I have to peel each tiny square off a tiny square of plastic -- and with the numerous slices in a three-ounce pack, that means maybe a hundred tiny squares. And I have to work fast, before everything gets cold or wilted and the pasta turns into a solid lump. Prosciutto sticks to plastic like a bum on a guy who's buying, and I have very short fingernails, and this turns into a production quickly. I'd ask my wife for help, but this is a woman who won't eat fish because of the one-in-a-thousand shot of getting a fishbone, so I'm thinking if she knows she might get a little piece of plastic stuck in her throat, that's going to put a damper on dinner. So I peel, peel, peel, cursing myself for a fool like Mr. T at a Fool Convention.
The thing is, this was far from the first time I've ever used prosciutto, and I was well aware of the plastic between the slices, but I forgot just long enough to make this boneheaded error.
Somehow I manage to get all the plastic off the prosciutto and serve the dinner with no incident.
Then she mentions that the dish is very salty; maybe it would be better without the prosciutto.
I hang my head. My work here is done.