U ON STRIKE
Poplar Letter Protests Trmp Electoral Win
Reters News Service, Tesdy, December 20, 2016 -- Annoncing its displeasre with the confirmation of Donald Trmp as the next president of the nited States in the Electoral College on Monday, the letter U has gone on strike to protest the election.
"The man is not worthy of the job," said the vowel in a heated news conference last night at New York's Marriott Marqis Hotel. "Let him try to get along with no inpt from me. He can't even spell his name withot me!"
The firebrand letter, a known member of the Green Party, had sworn to move to Canada if Trmp was elected, bt said at the conference that "My desire is to be here" and "those French Canadians have plenty of U's as it is."
The office of president-elect Trmp released a brief annoncement in reply: "While we respect the right of all letters to protest, we find that the actions of this roge letter are likely to make things difficlt for the many Americans who rely on it daily. We strongly rge this renegade vowel to reconsider."
Trmp spporter and poplar radio host Rsh Limbagh had stronger words, saying, "This letter, which cannot even be named becase of its preposteros withdrawal from se for nited States citizens, was never a spporter for any of the major candidates, and seems to have jst sed the Trmp election to enact some blackmail scheme of its own. Now, bear in mind that Trmp, while somewhat handicapped by the loss of this letter, still enjoys the spport of T, R, and M -- P was always on the fence. Yo recall he was endorsed by D and X, and as I nderstand it, even won the silent approval of E."
Later that night Mr. Trmp Tweeted: "This is an overrated vowel blowing off steam as a sore loser. It's not even in the word 'loser' althogh sonds like it shold be." This was followed by, "Least of the vowels. Worse than Y, which is just a part-timer." And later, "Definitely an overrated letter, from a bad neighborhood of alphabet. Helps make tweets shorter withot it."
The angry letter did not say what will make it retrn to reglar se, leading some to sggest this is jst a means of acqiring pblicity.
"It's a stnt, pre and simple," said Limbagh on his syndicated show. "It thinks it's starting a vowel movement, bt it's doomed to failre. The whole thing's going to blow over by Satrday, mark my words."