Saturday, December 17, 2016

Santa finds puppy naughty!

Very little for you today. Yesterday would have been an extremely busy day, but it got elevated into an enormously insane day with the addition of our two dogs. Thanks, dogs!

I have two projects due Monday, people coming over today, and so there was work and cooking and baking and wrapping to do Friday.

The big guy was not too much of a problem, except that (as I mentioned Friday) the thermometer crapped out and we were all out of degrees. Tralfaz thoroughly enjoys the cold weather, though; he doesn't seem to understand that it can kill the rest of us.

The little guy, however, was a YUGE problem. He's hit the equivalent of his teenage years and he is completely berserk. The long-awaited revenge my parents probably wished for me has arrived at last.

This whole week has been insane. Having been near the top of the class at obedience training, Nipper turned into a beast last time, refusing to do anything and barking at others. The trainer, who makes Cesar Millan look like a cat lady, couldn't even get anywhere with him. Then, at home, we'd run him through the same commands and he'd be a genius, as meticulous as the Swiss guard.

Then we discovered that in his pen, where he generally naps during the day, he was drilling for oil. Yes, the (relatively new) flooring has a nice hole in it now, almost to the subfloor. He's hardly ever been home without human supervision, and never without Tralfaz. Usually during the workday I'm about two feet away from him. And yet somehow he found the time to eat the floor. So now the one place where we knew we could relax our vigilance for a moment is no longer a safe space. And did I mention company is coming?

So yesterday we got a 6x4 low-pile mat to put under the pen, to keep it in place and cover the hole. Then, of course, he immediately tried to chew a hole in the mat. (Don't talk to me about that spray repellent; he seems to think of it as a delicious condiment.) He wouldn't nap at all in the pen, and most of the afternoon he was a complete pain in the tail. Wouldn't settle down, wouldn't stop making noise. No amount of play or exercise or food or anything else could get him to cool down. Not even being outside in the cold could cool him down. He wasn't mean or vicious, but he was bringing out the meanness and viciousness in others. By nine o'clock last night we were ready to trade him in for a used hamster or a slightly damaged goldfish.

As I write this, the food is not prepared for the guests that are coming, the place is a wreck, and the little guy is continuing his winning streak. He is on the leash at my feet because the moment my eyes are off him he goes to bite something that is not a toy or food. He may attack Tralfaz. He may chew the mat. He may go for the furniture next. Who knows?

Anybody got a slightly damaged goldfish they want to trade?

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