Sunday, September 14, 2014

The Stupor Dog.

Saturday was a long day. Tiring, stressful.

Why?

Because we changed Tralfaz's bowls.

He's getting big; he needs a big food bowl and a big water bowl. You'd think he'd like these. They're classy. They're stylish. They hold more. They don't clank (he hates the sound of metal clanking; recycling day can be a bit trying). They're just what he would pick out himself if he could.

But he's terrified of them.

Tralfaz is no superdog. Krypto, baby, you've got no competition to worry about.


Tralfaz is not what we expected in some regards. He's not scared of other dogs. He's not scared of any human. You could be a big smelly man covered in the blood of your enemies; he will want to play tug-of-war with your battle-ax and sniff your heinie. But he's terrified of objects.

A flight of stairs. Getting into the car. Getting out of the car. A new leash. A new harness. A new toy. A new food bowl. A new toy that dispenses food. A little set of stairs to help him get in the car.

About the only things he is not afraid of are things we want him to stay away from because they could hurt or kill him, like cars in the street, weird animal poop, paint chips, safety pins. nails, dynamite, etc. If we tell him No! Leave it!, that's as good as a solid endorsement.

So at this point he would not make a great superhero. You can't be a superhero if you're chicken---unless you're Super Chicken, but that's another story. It's too bad, because Tralfaz does have some potential superpowers, including:

- Supershedding

- Superslobber

- Superbad timing (Dinner's out? Time for poop!)

- Supernip

- Superwhine

- Supersmell (Can detect human feet from 100 yards)

- Superchew (So-called indestructible toys don't stand a chance with Matter-Eater Dog!)

Another one he seems to be working on is Ingestional Knitting. He's swallowed so much thread from his rope ball that I expect him to poop a sweater one of these days.

If he does that, I'm calling Animal Planet. Or DC Comics.
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