The stalking robot.

Pity the fool who tries to lose weight in these times of plentiful sugar and more plentiful anxiety! And now technology is working against us. 

My favored supermarket had a big renovation last year, as I noted at the time, which still has me bollixed up. I still can't remember where they've hidden the bread. I must admit, though, the place does look refreshed and more in keeping with modern design. 

But they've introduced a stalker. 

This little robot roams about the store freely, lurking around corners, humming down the aisles, toting his little rack of candy to entice shoppers to treat themselves to chocolaty goodness. 

What the hell is it?

Well, they call it Smiley, according to a story in Progressive Grocer. 

Smiley, true to its name, features catchy tunes and dancing as it makes its rounds through the store offering treats for sale. Smiley uses the latest in self-driving technology to ensure safe operation and includes sanitation wipes to safeguard shoppers. This pilot was enabled by Mars Wrigley’s Launchpad program, a digital innovation program established in 2017. Launchpad focuses on innovating the ways in which Mars Wrigley markets and sells its iconic brand through meaningful partnerships with startups.

I haven't noticed any catchy tunes, but I have not gotten that close to Smiley. He'll sidle up and stop for a while, but he doesn't run straight up to customers -- he's more of your soft-sell type robot. 

But he can't fool me. This is a candy-wielding Dalek.

“As a Treats & Snacks category leader, we know that while trips to stores are becoming more focused and retailers are moving to more seamless in-store shopping experiences, shoppers still want to be surprised or indulge in impulse purchases,” said Matt Tice, director of grocery category leadership at Mars Wrigley. “Introducing innovative solutions like Smiley will help retailers shake up traditional merchandising, improve their consumers’ shopping experience and drive sales.”

The short-term goal is to move more Snickers and make more money. The long-term goal? To exterminate through sugar! Diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, stroke -- Smiley is just a soft-sell killer robot! 

Next time I see him I'm going to interrogate him through his little touchscreen. What planet is he from? Mars? Hell, he's literally a creature from Mars -- Mars Wrigley! Here to kill us... with kindness! 

I'm going to get some answers. And one of those Snickers. Hey, you can't interrogate properly when you're hungry.