The Bible and broccoli.

I suspect most husbands find themselves cast into the outer darkness (i.e., the guest room or equivalent) from time to time, due to the unpleasant experience of -- dare I say it? -- gas. 

Why do broccoli and similar vegetables call forth Maria? VeryWell Health says "The fiber in them is not completely digested in the small intestine. When the good bacteria in the large intestine go to work digesting it, gas is created as a result." Lying down on the job again, eh, small intestine? This will come up on your review. 

Of course, it all could be much worse. We could be Antiochus.

Antiochus IV Epiphanes was a typically arrogant Hellenistic king, enemy of the Jews, just the sort of schmuck destined for a bad end in the Old Testament. According to 2 Maccabees 9, he found himself being attacked on many sides, and having been chased out of Persia at one point, decided to take it out on Jerusalem. He said, “I will make Jerusalem the common graveyard of Jews as soon as I arrive there.”

Spoiler alert: This did not happen.

So the all-seeing Lord, the God of Israel, struck him down with an incurable and invisible blow; for scarcely had he uttered those words when he was seized with excruciating pains in his bowels and sharp internal torment, a fit punishment for him who had tortured the bowels of others with many barbarous torments.

It's important to keep Antiochus's cruelty in mind as the chapter continues, because his punishment is one of the nastiest in the Bible:

The body of this impious man swarmed with worms, and while he was still alive in hideous torments, his flesh rotted off, so that the entire army was sickened by the stench of his corruption. Shortly before, he had thought that he could reach the stars of heaven, and now, no one could endure to transport the man because of this intolerable stench. At last, broken in spirit, he began to give up his excessive arrogance, and to gain some understanding, under the scourge of God, for he was racked with pain unceasingly. When he could no longer bear his own stench, he said, “It is right to be subject to God, and not to think one’s mortal self equal to God.”

Hope you weren't eating! 

Antiochus sets his affairs in order by naming his son successor, and then, "this murderer and blasphemer, after extreme sufferings, such as he had inflicted on others, died a miserable death in the mountains of a foreign land," stinkin' all the way. 

Now, perhaps it is a bit extreme to compare someone who has been ingesting broccoli, or White Castle sliders, or huge amounts of garlic, or beer, or anything pungent to the vile, diseased doom of a vile regent. That all depends on how the people you live with react. 

It's probably best to go outside and let the breeze blow away the eau de ugh, then take a shower. It beats a miserable death in the mountains of a foreign land -- or sleeping on the sofa every night.