New year, new who?

Everyone says change is good. Until he or she has to make a change. Then change sucks eggs.

New Year's is a time we are willing to face the idea of change a little better than most. 

The thing is, as we look over our lives, we're willing to admit that yes, things have to change. Things are not right. So then we take out our pens and notebooks and get to work:

Resolutions for ME
Lose fifty thirty weight
Quit smoking
Take up running
Try yoga
Clear out garage
Remove comical facial hair/nose hair/ear hair
Clean house thoroughly once every three four six months

But then we say, hey, it's not all our fault! Maybe we do need to make some changes... and so do others.

Resolutions for SPOUSE
Lose twenty-three pounds
Bring grocery bill down to about forty dollars a month
Clean out all the old crap she doesn't even want around here (self not included)
Learn a 4th and 5th recipe
Stop nagging me

Resolutions for BOSS
No more passive aggression -- or for that matter, aggressive aggression
No firings or layoffs in 2019
Stop nagging me

Resolutions for CAT
Hairballs: Outside
Give up scratching furniture
Keep mice out of cellar -- mice are not collectibles
Stop looking at me all judgey

Resolutions for BROTHER-IN-LAW
Get off sofa
Get some real clothes
Get job
Get your own food
Get out of my house
Realize that "herb connoisseur" is not an actual job
Stop complaining about being nagged

Resolutions for RETAIL CLERKS/HELP LINE WORKERS
Smile once in a while; it is not fatal
Learn the difference between "helping" and "not helping at all"

Resolutions for CONGRESSMAN/SENATOR/OTHER ELECTED YAHOOS
Leave office and go get real work for a while
Look in mirror every morning and say "I am not that big a deal"
Stop spending my money like it comes from a magical fairy pipeline

Resolutions for RANDOM PEOPLE
Learn how to signal turns, lane changes, and come to a complete stop

Sometimes we never get past the "others" stage. In fact, once we think about all the ways others need to get their acts together, we start looking good by comparison.

Maybe we don't need to change that much after all! Hey, 2019 is going great so far!