Thursday, January 31, 2019

Needful things.

"The Necessary"

by Frederick Key

When winter hits
And makes us all sad
The freezing cold makes us feel awfully bad
Four little things
Stop us being dead:
Toilet paper, milk, eggs, and bread

Quick! To the store!
We mustn’t be late!
Open at seven, sold out by eight
Those magical things
That save us from dread:
Toilet paper, milk, eggs, and bread

“Four little things
We can’t go without!”
Shoppers pushing their carts will all shout
“Keeping us clean
And even well fed!
Toilet paper, milk, eggs, and bread!”

Gather them up
Through aisles we race
Punch the other guys right in the face
They get in your way
They make you see red!
Toilet paper, milk, eggs, and bread

Don’t dawdle now
It’ll all be your fault
If we get stuck ’cause you had to buy salt
Just focus on
The quartet instead:
Toilet paper, milk, eggs, and bread

Get to the line
You can take the express
You certainly got just ten items or less
Remember the thing
Your ol' mama said:
"Toilet paper, milk, eggs, and bread!"

Jam in the car
And stomp on the gas
We got what we need and we’re gonna haul ass
Only some tracks
Will show that we fled
Toilet paper, milk, eggs, and bread

Back to the house
And hunker on down
While winter’s wide paintbrush whitens the town
Our stuff is secure
That’s using your head!
Toilet paper, milk, eggs, and bread

The wind it is raging
Pelts us with sleet
Time to snuggle up under the sheet
We’ll ride out the storm all cozy in bed
Toilet paper, milk, eggs, and bread

4 comments:

Mongo919 said...

Shades of A.A. Milne! Good one!

FredKey said...

Th-th-th-thanks, M-M-Mongo!

Fiendish Man said...

I dare to be different. Last night I headed out into the cold for spaghetti, sauce, Coke, and grated cheese!

FredKey said...

You are a rebel, Fiendish!