Saturday, January 12, 2019

Spread the word.

Yesterday the Great Lileks posted the new Miracle Whip label on his site, part of his weekly review of product packaging, and I discovered that Kraft had buckled on their fiendish plot to destroy a mighty brand. As you see on the photo of the jar I ran out and bought, they have returned to the so-called "Gold Standard Recipe." In other words, the recipe they screwed up in 2006 to save money, as mentioned by your humble servant here.

Whip, it good!

On the Lileks site I said that I was thrilled that they have at last admitted to New Coking us with the product, and caught some heat from my fellow Bleatniks, many of whom are mayonnaise purists, or haters of both mayo and the Whip. But it's not even me that is a big Miracle Whip fan, it's my wife. I think it makes a great potato salad. She likes it on sandwiches too, and other foods. But she hated the subtle but disturbing changes they made twelve long, sad years ago.

Why did they go back to the old recipe? I suppose sales have been hurting. But at least you have one happy customer now, Mr. Kraft; my wife had a sandwich with Miracle Whip for lunch on Friday and pronounced it good.

The condiment market has become awfully strange. French's, known for mustard, introduced ketchup. Heinz, known for ketchup, introduced mayonnaise and the bizarre mayochup Frankencondiment. Hellmann's, known for mayo, introduced a weird honey-sweetened ketchup. It's all gone crazy out there. And all this time we're told that Millennials, who are on record as ruining everything, only care about sriracha, salsa, pico de gallo, stuff made from avocados, and น้ำปลา (nam pla). Apparently they have gone so low as to insist there is such as thing as "identity condiments."  Who knows who's dipping what anymore? Do we need to know? Do we want to know? TMI?

All I wanted was a decent potato salad, all right? Is that too much to ask?

4 comments:

raf said...

Is that too much to ask?

The default answer to questions of this kind is always "yes."

raf said...

I am reminded of a time when I was working (so to speak) with a Payless Shoe Source store to prove that I was worthy of advising them to change their ways (also known as soliciting them as a client to improve operating procedures). (Apparently, I wasn't.) At some point I mentioned in passing something about leather shoes on the shelves. They scoffed. I pointed out the label-tag affixed to the shoestring that clearly said "leather." "Oh sure," they said, "The tag might be leather."

Perhaps that might apply to the "Gold Standard Recipe" label, as well?

Not to be a downer or anything.

Dan said...

Grew up on "salad dressing" (usually store brand). Really liked Miracle Whip. Didn't realize they "new coke'd" us, though, but did know it didn't taste the same. (As Rush said in one of his fake commercials about the dolphin-free tuna, with the young kid declaring "The tuna doesn't taste as good as it used to."

Yup I prefer Miracle Whip to Mayo (although mayo is OK). But then (as I confessed at the Bleat in one of my other personas) I also like Papyrus and Comic Sans fonts. Don't understand the hostility toward them.

Really enjoy your Daily Fred (and your comments over at Lileks').

FredKey said...

Raf: Better watch out! If my wife sees your comment she will hunt you down. Don't mess with the Whip!

Dan: Thanks for your comments! My wife will send you blessings for your support of the Whip. Not sure what her thoughts are on Comic Sans and Papyrus; I know she is down on Hobo. Not that she's a Hobophobe....