Sunday, March 1, 2015

Thoughts on the McDonald's drive thru.


What's so special about Special Sauce? Is it really that special? Isn't it just like mayonnaise with hypertension?

Sometimes they tell you to pay at the first window. Sometimes they tell you to pay at the second window. Do they not have adequate staff to keep the first window open all the time? Is it a crowd control mechanism?

I like pickles.

This line is taking a long time. Is someone up there waiting on an order of fries individually basted with Special Sauce? Because the other guys were always the "Have It Your Way" guys.

Not sure that that girl got my order right. She seemed to be a little distracted. I'm sure I heard giggling. My order was funny, but not that funny.

Speaking of funny: Do people really yell into the face of the clown at Jack in the Box? Maybe that used to be a thing but not anymore. Hard to believe that a modern chain would expect people to talk into a clown's face, except ironically.

Damn, what's going on up there? Someone interrogating the manager about the contents of the Special Sauce?

They sell Taco Bell condiments in the stores, and now McDonald's coffee, but not Special Sauce. Hmm.

About that clown thing -- let me check the phone... Nearest Jack in the Box is... 523 miles away. Shoot.

Do I know anyone who lives in California who would know about shouting into the clown? Lots of Jack in the Boxes in California.

Or would that be Jacks in the Box?

I know I was hungry when I got on this line. Not so hungry now. Did I eat something without thinking?

Is there relish in Special Sauce? I may be onto something here. This could blow the lid off the whole Special Sauce cartel.

Did I swallow my gum? Maybe that's why I'm less hungry.

Jacks in the Boxes, maybe?

You'd expect giggling if you were giving your order through a clown head.

I'm almost sure I wasn't chewing gum.

Could I pull off the line? I could have driven to the nearest Jack in the Box by now.

Wait -- that Odyssey is getting two... three... four bags... tray of drinks... Okay, he's the bastard who's holding up the line. Everyone stare daggers!

Now I'm hungry again. Those pickles sure are tasty.
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