Monday, March 2, 2015

Cold hands, warm cop.

As I described the other day, I have spent a lot of time standing outdoors in one of our most brutal Februaries on record while I wait for the dog to do... something, anything. After a while the thin gloves I had were not preventing the frostbite from endangering my delicate digits. I had work gloves, driving gloves, and some goofy cloth gloves, but nothing really useful for sub-zero temperatures. So I had to get something that would actually keep the meathooks warm.

After looking around online and trying unsuccessfully at the Army-Navy store, I happened to see a pair of what were billed as Canadian police gloves in the Vermont Country Store catalog. Hmm---cops have to hang around outside all the time, and every last bit of Canada is north of here. "The supple leather lined with thick, protective pile is a style that’s been keeping Canadian policemen’s and dog sled champs’ hands warm since 1947," says the text. Kind of pricey---but what the hell. Let's try them.

You're under arrest, eh?
I have two problems with them:

1) They're lined with fluff and really thick. Like, you can't make a fist while wearing these. Forget getting your finger in a trigger guard; I don't think you could fire a Nerf gun. I know there are lots of different kinds of police officers in any police force, but can any of them perform their duties with no manual dexterity?

2) On that note, I looked up some pictures of Toronto cops, traffic cops, Mounties, etc., and none of the winter pictures showed gloves like these. I don't want to call the folks at the Vermont Country Store fibbers, but...

Anyway, they are the warmest gloves I own, and I still have all ten fingers, so I'm going to call it a win. They're not super warm, though; standing outside in a Saskatoon winter for eight hours, I think my hands would still get plenty cold. If they get damp the chill seeps in quickly. And if I get mugged while wearing them, I will be helpless to beat off my attacker. Even if I could punch him it would feel like a pillow fight with very small pillows.

Still, while this terrible winter drags on---March 1st it snowed six inches!---I'm grateful to have them.

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