Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Crap Irish riddles.

What's yellow and became High King of the Irish in 1002?
Banana Boru.

Why do they play the bagpipes at Irish funerals?
To make sure the poor feller's dead.

Why are there no Irish car manufacturers?
Because not everything runs on stout.

Why's it called Irish soda bread?
'Coz we used flour and stuff and baked it, soders some bread to eat.

What's green and has three leaves?
A dining room pickle.

What do you call a man-pulled carriage in Munster Province?
A Limerickshaw. 

When is an Irishman not an Irishman?
When he's an Ulsterman, ya great bastahd! [Punching ensues]

How many OCD Irishmen does it screw to put in a lightbulb?
One, but he has to put it in 723 times.

What do you call an Irishman's patella?
A Blar-Knee.

Riddle me this, Begorrahman!
What do you call an Jewish-Irish sprite?
A Leprecohen. 

What do you call a sprite who writes patriotic songs?
A George M. Leprecohan. 

Why do U.S. lawyers make a median salary of $114,300 while Irish lawyers make $46,807?
St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

Can I have a pint of Bass, please?
You'll take Guiness and like it, English bastahd! [Punching ensues]

How does an Irish CPA do his accounting?
One potato, two potato, three potato, four...

Who wrote these here riddles?
I did.
Take this, ya bastahd! [Punching ensues]

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