Thursday, November 5, 2015

Rumble turkey.

If you had the patience to stay with me the last three entries while I complained about how much my life sucked in recent days: Thank you. I appreciate patience in others, believe me. I know I'm not the easiest person to live with. Ask my wife. Ask my dog.

I just wanted to say today that I know I'm not the only person in America with problems.

I was outside with the dog, when I heard the classic turkey "Gobble!" cry. It was more like "Kagobbububbahhgle!" actually, but you get the idea.

This didn't surprise me. Eastern wild turkeys often pass by this time of year. It's very seasonal. We are at exactly the same latitude as the Pilgrims were (41 degrees N), so I guess turkeys just come along around November. Not that they migrate. I don't think. I have no idea. Look, they're just hanging around a lot, that's all I know. And don't go pointing out that the Pilgrims mostly ate venison at the first Thanksgiving. They probably had turkeys, too. Maybe as canapés.

Anyway, I turned to look across the street and saw the big black turkey fluttering angrily. Then I saw the big brown cat slinking away from it toward the house on the left.

The cat had a demeanor that said, "I have decided to let you live today, turkey, but in future you had best not let me see you." Far from being intimidated, the turkey began to follow the cat. The cat picked up the pace a bit. And then, from behind the house on the right, came two more turkeys. Then three more. Then four more after that. Then I lost count.

The cat disappeared behind the house, possibly waiting for a discreet moment to run like merry hell. The turkeys also began, one or two at a time, to go out of view. I expected to hear a kitty screech or a mangled "Gobble!" as the cat determined to make their victory a costly one.

But it was all over. The turkeys began to reemerge. The cat did not reappear.

I could not get any video of the action; just a bad picture of the triumphant turkeys returning to whatever it is turkeys do.


I'm sure the cat got away unharmed. He had to be faster than the turkeys. He just had to wait until no one was watching. Cats don't like to be seen chickening out, although they are very good at it.

So while I may have to contend with thieves, and ticks, and Kansas City Royals, turkeys have to deal with home-based predators and hungry Pilgrims, and cats have to deal with roving packs of poultry. We all have our problems. Thank you for letting me share mine.

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