Saturday, June 6, 2015


The Minions movie doesn't open until July 10, and already we are being Minioned every which way. I've seen the ads for the Minions Tic Tacs. I've even tried the Minions Peeps, as I wrote a few months back. Then there's this:

Come on, guys. Just because it's yellow?

Too bad Nuprin is not around anymore. We could have Minion pain relief.

The Minions are shaped like cans of antiperspirant; can an Axe Minion Spray be far behind?

Part of the problem, though, is that while the marketing for the movie is fun, the movie itself looks like kind of a bust. Coming up with a big, epic Minion backstory robs them of their charm, I think. Worse, the story looks rather predictable and pedestrian, like Despicable Me without the redemption. Or maybe the redemption story is there, in which case it's just Another Despicable Me. The gags in the trailers that center around the modern Minion story fall flat. When your comedy trailer isn't funny, you have problems.

I hate to come down too hard on the little guys, though. I mean, I'm glad they're doing fine, and I hope the movie is better than it looks. I have to admit, too, that I've been told that they may be distant cousins of mine. I suppose it's possible, but personally I don't see any resemblance.

UPDATE: Okay, this is getting ridiculous.

UPDATE UPDATE: Honestly, the more things like this I see (and I have seen more), the more I think the movie is going to suck hard.

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