Look, I know it's the last Friday before Christmas, and that means lots of parties at the office and whatnot. Lots of get-togethers, lots of people exchanging presents, lots of toasts and merriment.
I just wanted to take a moment to remind you that Christmas is a special time of year, and no one wants their holiday and their memory of it ruined because someone pulled a stupid, thoughtless stunt. For the sake of your friends and family, I ask, please:
No cans of Danish butter cookies.
Oh, sure, it's easy to get carried away at this indulgent time of year, to say, "There'll be so many things to eat at this party; no one will notice that I brought canned cookies." But they will. Oh, yes, they will.
People know better than to bring crummy fruitcake, or a cheap box of candy canes, but they still think nothing of dropping a box of canned cookies on you. The box from the cheap candy canes would taste better than these cookies.
Please, people: Don't go to parties with these. You want people to invite you over for New Year's, don't you?
This has been a public service announcement.