Saturday, December 27, 2014

Fight Snow Miser.

Don't get me wrong; Snow Miser is a nice enough guy. As elemental forces of nature go, he is more cheerful than some others I could name.

Of course, you have to put up with his little musical number when you see him, that's true, and his flock of dancing mini-mes is pretty damn creepy. He's a little too big to get chummy with. He eats Hungry Man frozen dinners while they're frozen. The power to actually transmute things into snow at will is kind of scary. (Don't shake hands, BTW.) He's become obsessed with Elsa from Frozen; he thinks she's a talentless dumbbell and an upstart. He's been known to freeze people "just for the fun of it," according to my sources. He can be temperamental, which you don't want in a weather-related minor deity. And it's pretty weird when his pupils spin in opposing directions.

Like his brother, though, he's okay in small doses. Unfortunately, today is just the seventh day of winter, so here in the north we have a long haul ahead of us. We're going to get this guy in large club-size doses.

I find a humongous pot of my wife's pea soup goes a long way to keeping your sanity when Snow Miser is hanging around. He doesn't care for hot soup that you can stand the spoon up in. Makes him vaguely ill at ease; not so much that he'll openly try to give it the snow touch, but just enough that he'll excuse himself from the room.

Oh, yeah.

Anyway, that's my recommendation. If you like in the south, carry on with your Popsicles, iced tea, and cold Dixie beer. You have to deal with the even creepier brother.

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