Hello, friends. It's me again. The dog.
Friends, I'd like to talk to you today about a horrible scourge that is destroying civilization. I am, of course, referring to this:
Yes, the "No Dogs" sign. Placed there to tell you that your playful little chum, your furry little companion, is not welcome at this establishment. That they hate your fuzzy little buddy so much they would draw a red circle line thingie over him.
What kind of a mean person would do a thing like that?
Friends, let's face it: Hard as it is to believe, some people don't like dogs. They don't understand how important it is to have your wee merry canine pal with you! They say, "No dogs in restaurants, you stupid dog lover!" They say, "Remove that beast from the library, you illiterate nincompoop!" They say, "Hey! This is the operating room! Get that dog out of here!"
How can they expect you to recover from your surgery without your puppy to cheer you? To remind you how much he needs you? Don't they know dogs help people recover from trauma and nuttiness? It's true! Purina says so!
Friends, we pups would never suggest you go and actually punch restaurant owners, health inspectors, supermarket managers, allergists, and other anti-dog types in the nose. We just ask you, with our soulful puppy eyes, to not frequent such establishments that post signs like the one above. In time, maybe they'll come around. Or we can bite them.
Thank you for listening friends! And remember:
A no-dogs sign you should see
Then send your dog to go and pee
On it.
This has been a public service announcement from the dog.
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