Godzilla vs. Colonel Sanders.

A relative of mine who is old enough to know better cannot wait until Friday, when the new Godzilla movie opens. She is obsessed with Japan's not-so-jolly green (or gray) atomic-ray-breathing giant. I'm certain she's had her tickets for weeks. Well, I would suggest she stop into KFC for a bucket of chicken first. That will make the night complete.

Why? Well, Colonel Sanders and Godzilla go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Waaaay back in November 2001, when I was still working in Manhattan and the NY Press was a weekly delight (free, from boxes all over town, run by editor and impresario Russ Smith), one of the columns by writer Jim "Slackjaw" Knipfel astonished me with news about these two cultural titans. I'm glad to say that column is available online now, but let me quote:

Morgan remembered -- bless her again -- that there were a couple places here in town that specialized exclusively in Japanese pop cultural doo-daddery. As it turns out, that very evening, after spending a few hours at a local tavern, we found ourselves strolling past just such a place, on 3rd Ave.
   We went through the doors and up the stairs and through another door, where we found ourselves cast ashore on a very strange island. A kitschy heaven for collector geek and hipster alike. (And me -- though of course I was there on a very serious and limited mission. A hit-and-run sort of thing.)
   The walls and shelves were packed with toys, yes -- but an odd selection of toys. The oddest selection of toys, you might say. From your basic Star Wars and comic book heroes, to a Snoopy aisle, a Hello Kitty collection, action figures from The Fly, Scooby Doo, Futurama and Wallace and Gromit to ... Col. Sanders.
   For some reason, every section of the store contained some sort of Col. Sanders figure. In the far back corner, there was even a Col. Sanders section. Big figures, tiny glass figures, nodders, wind-ups, dolls. Col. Sanders, it seems, had become a huge pop cultural icon in Japan without any of us knowing about it! Was the news of his devastating attack on Tokyo suppressed in the Western news media?

This was the first I've ever heard of the Japanese love for the late Colonel Harland Sanders, but it makes sense to me. As a figure of history and myth, Colonel Sanders hits all the "great man" notes that one sees in Japanese pop culture from old anime to Iron Chef. He's gray-haired, old, wise, kind to children, demanding (but fair) to those who serve him, wealthy, and best of all, he dresses differently from all the people around him.

Kindly he may be, but don't mess with him. The Wikipedia page tells us, "The Japanese Nippon Professional Baseball league has developed an urban legend of the 'Curse of the Colonel'. A statue of Colonel Sanders was thrown into a river and lost during a 1985 fan celebration, and (according to the legend) the 'curse' has caused Japan's Hanshin Tigers to perform poorly since the incident."

I don't know anything about the new Godzilla movie. I know there's at least one other monster. If I thought Colonel Sanders would team up with Godzilla to destroy the real bad guys in the movie, I might want to go see it. 

Good cop, bad cop buddy movie!

Meanwhile, I am exceptionally sorry that KFC does not appear to be doing any cross-promotions with the film, even in Japan. I call that cultural tone-deafness, KFC. And don't try to make it up by putting "Lizard Legs" on the menu -- that will just make it worse.