Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Tropical storm me.

I heard that Erika had passed through the south, dumping a bunch of rain and stuff on the southern states. But they're made of tough stuff down there---as witnessed by this, courtesy of

But now I'm informed that the next storm coming up could be Hurricane Fred!


The last thing I want is a tropical storm named after me, except maybe a tropical storm that turns into a Category Five hurricane after me. NOOOOO!!!!!

Do you know how horrible life became for girls named Katrina after Hurricane Katrina hit ten years ago? I'll tell you: Horrible!

If it had been a more common name, like Cathy or Mary, there could have been strength in numbers. If you're Mary and a Hurricane Mary causes massive destruction, well, they could use it to make fun of you, but the impact is watered down because there are four other Marys in the same grade, two in the same class. If you're the only Katrina in the school and a city is destroyed by Hurricane Katrina, you get to shoulder the abuse alone.

Even worse if you are a Katrina from New Orleans. That would be very bad.

What am I going to do if this storm Fred wipes out Miami and kills thousands of hip people? There aren't that many Freds around anymore. I'm going to get blamed for this. I'll get the heat for flattening poor Cuban neighborhoods and drowning a bunch of trailer parks. It'll be my fault if Circ X is destroyed, like I'm an avenging weather god who hates naughty people having fun. If a bunch of rich people get swept out to sea off Gables Estates, it'll all be on Fred.

I need this?

The World Meteorological Organization is the one to blame here, not me. They singled me out. I had nothing to do with this. I was just standing there. The WMO picked my name. I'm the victim here.

Good luck, South; get your plywood and toilet paper and water and canned goods; tape up the glass and put away the surfboards; sit tight and don't do anything foolish. And remember, Freddy is your pal, not your enemy. The WMO is your enemy. Boo, WMO!

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