Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Labor sucks!

I spent Labor Day laboring, and it sucked.

There's a huge difference in doing labor for your own property for improvement, maintenance, or just the sense of pride of having a nice place, and doing labor for some other schmuck for money or to escape a beating. I certainly would have enjoyed the pride of having a nice place filling me during the fatal heart attack I was bringing on.

It was 93 degrees (F, but felt like C), and I was out in the hottest part of it. Couldn't be helped; I was finishing a job on deadline, so that tied me up all morning, and meanwhile I was waiting for the sun to dry the grass and weeds so I could cut them.

That dew is a major problem.
It took hours, and the longer it took, the slower Old Man Freddy moved, stretching out the time more. At one point I told myself that as soon as the mower ran out of gas, I was going to get out of the sun, drink Gatorade, and cool off.

Apparently my mower has the Magic Tank of Holding when I want it to run out of gas, because I finished the backyard. It never did run out of gas. Maybe it will never run out of gas. That would be nice. But I ran out of gas. In fact, I got dehydrated.

I crept inside when it was over, a sad, sweaty mess. Even the dog thought I smelled bad. I dumped my clothes straight in the washer and got into the tub.

I don't remember the last time I took a bath, but it's been years. I was too wiped to stand for a shower. I soaked and scrubbed, expecting to see ticks swimming for their lives. Then I rinsed off, dried off, and took a nap.

And woke up an hour later with a cramp in my right foot, which moved to my left foot, which then turned into a rare and attention-getting thigh cramp. Yep, I was dehydrated.

Damn you, Magic Tank of Holding!

Some people will say that muscle cramps like that are not caused by dehydration. These people are wrong. Had I done that amount of work on a cool day, and I have, and more, I would have had no cramps at all. Back to the drawing board, doctors! Or should I say, "doctors"!

Anyway, cramps are gone now, no more dizziness, and no fatal heart attack, or at least not yet. But that was a lot of work for a national day off. I'm looking forward to getting some rest between now and the next Labor Day.
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