Thursday, September 29, 2016

Yoga Fred.

I've done some stretches in my time--poorly--but I don't think yoga is for me. First of all, it seems to require a level of flexibility that my people simply do not have, that level being "any." If I tried, say, the Pendant Pose, I would definitely be putting the LOL in Lolasana.

Second, there's the whole cultural appropriation stuff, and as I would naturally wish to do yoga while wearing a sombrero and cooking pho, it just seems like inviting trouble.

Nonetheless, I'm amazed by the wide variety of impossible poses, postures, and whatnot available to the yoga devota, and their incredible mouth-bending names. Like:

Adho Mukha Vrksasana
Agnistambhasana
Anjaneyasana
Chakravakasana
Eka Pada Rajakapotasana
Hanumanasana
Natarajasana
Parivrtta Ardha Chandrasana
Salamba Sarvangasana
Triang Mukhaikapada Paschimottanasana

I think a Venn diagram would show that many of the people who know what these are would be the same as the people who tell you never to eat something you can't pronounce. But it's okay to do something you can't pronounce? I call shenanigans!

There are a handful of poses I think I might be able to do, as follows:

Bananaramasana
Three point stance while holding your Venus


Roninsana
Pick up phone firmly in one hand; call broker

Roseanne Rosannadannasana
Frequent hand gestures required
Alabamaslammasana
Seated position, elbow bent

Downward Facing Sickasa Dog
Follows Alabamaslammasana

Advilo Mukha Vrksasana
What people like me would need after trying yoga

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