Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Shaving with broken glass.

A friend of mine told me to enjoy the debates yesterday. I told him I would rather shave with broken glass, and I meant it. I still would.

It's not like the candidates are mysterious creatures we don't know. Unless you've been shirking your civic duty, you know these two knuckleheads all too well. You may have had trouble a few months ago figuring out which is more corrupt, but we have a pretty good idea now.

I suppose people watch these things to see if someone lands a good one-liner like Reagan's famous youth and inexperience gag. But really, politicians are a mostly creepy bunch, and tuning into these things just encourages them. Does anyone expect to get a solid explanation of policy proposals, or even a graspable statement of principles? No, they're hoping for zingers, maybe fistfights. Maybe a dodgeball game will break out. Maybe someone will have a massive stroke. Wouldn't that be fun?

This is insanity.

Mister, we could use a man like William McKinley again.

His famous "front porch campaign" of 1896 was brilliant. He wasn't the first to run such a presidential campaign, but he was probably the best at it. Wikipedia notes that "McKinley spoke to more than 700,000 supporters in front of his house in Canton." It brought huge publicity, it made him look presidential, and it was easy on him. He was a big guy.


You can't see that face engaged in shenanigans, can you?

Do I wish modern presidential campaigns were run this way? Hell yeah. Do I think it would work? No. Do I care? No. The modern campaign is all about messaging, but the message they generally have is "My opponent has the heart of Satan and a massive turd where his/her brain should be."

At least if they stayed home to campaign we could ignore it.
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