But nooo, you had to stick your money in those crooked crypto-scams, the ones that get people arrested in the Bahamas before they have to testify in front on Congress. You should have put your dough in Fredcoin!
Yes, friends, Fredcoin is the cryptocurrency for you! You know how that guy with the accordion above got his instrument? Did you guess Fredcoin? Well, no, but it could have been! And look at how the happy people frolic to the beautiful music of his theoretically-possible-Fredcoin-funded instrument!
Now, as we approach the end of 2022, you may be mulling it over. Mull mull mull. I can hear it now. Should I put my money in nice, safe Fredcoin, or should I set fire to it in the backyard? Which is virtually the same as any other investment these days. And I sympathize with your plight. You who have no Fredcoin are in a world of confusion, a world that for the investor is like being stuck in a room full of broken glass (inflation) and nails (overregulation) and a stupid, unhappy rhinoceros (the U.S. government). Any possible move the rhino makes is going to hurt and cause more damage to you, and none of them will get you out of this mess. But oh, if only you'd gotten some delightful Fredcoin!
Oh, sure, I know some of you have doubts. You hear that a thousand cryptocurrencies sank to Davy Jones's Locker just since January. You've heard that the market cap for cryptos has shrunk by 72% since November '21. You figure that putting money in Fredcoin is just another way to watch your cash disintegrate. At least if you burned it in the backyard you'd get some warmth for a while.
Well, knock off that kind of defeatism! We don't believe it that here. What some people call "an inability to let go of anything" and "a hobgoblin of little minds" we call "loyalty." And we're not going to let our loyal investors down.
So send your money to me, Fred, where it can be converted into the world's most up-and-coming cryptocurrency (according to me). Who knows? Next year maybe you'll find yourself wintering in some sunny spot instead of sinking into the ice and snow. It's worth a shot!
3 comments:
Fredcoin - the only crypto with "FA RA RA RA RA, RA RA RA RA"!
How many beanie babies would you take for a fredcoin? Oh, I could not really do that, the way they look at me with those big eyes.
Fredcoin is accepted at the usual rate for Beanie Babies. And thanks for the reminder, Stiiv, that Fredcoin can be used at reputable dining establishments when the dogs next door eat your turkey!
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