Fitness resolution! With steroids!

Hello, fellow kids, and welcome to 2021! No more loafing around, moaning about how bad things are. This is a new year! Time to run around and get fit while we moan about how bad things are! And look what I got for Christmas. 

My wife gave me an Inspire 2 FitBit, that step-counting marvel that can help you track heartrate, sleep quality, calories burned and consumed, water drunk, and alert you to calls and messages on your phone. It's a marvel! And it also tells time! Which is nice, since the watchband just broke on my wristwatch.

So on day one, which was actually December 27, I set it up, strapped it on, and went about my business. I wanted to see how active I am on an average day with no particular extra effort. As it is, I finished with more than 8,000 steps, which made me glad. They say you should walk 10,000 steps for baseline exercise each day (or do they? Well, it's better than most of us get). I did not have the thing on at the start of my day, so maybe I did walk 10,000 steps -- could not tell. 

On day two I was welded to my desk to meet a deadline, and yet by bedtime I had about 9,500 steps. Awesome! I figured that the next day, when I had more liberty, I would pulverize the 10,000 goal. FitBit's little screen would blare at me: "HOLD ON, COWBOY! YOU WAY TOO ACTIVE!" And I would laugh! "Ha ha! I am just warming up!"

And indeed, thanks to a sudden desire by large dog Tralfaz for a large walk, I had more than 4,000 steps behind me by nine a.m. I was going to RAWK this one!

And then this:

While I was working my wrist started to itch. Naturally, I had a lovely red rash around it where the FitBit lay. So this is where the steroid portion comes in -- corticosteroid gel, to get the itch to stop and remove the rash. And FitBit went onto the charger. 

Three days later I still have the stupid rash, although less red and not so itchy. FitBit says this probably came from wearing it too tight, and I think that's true -- you're not supposed to wear it as tight as a regular watch. The plastic doesn't breathe. I've worn my share of cheap-ass watches with plastic bands, but I usually take the watch off when I get home. You're supposed to wear the FitBit all the time -- to bed as well. You can even wear it in the shower. Got to count those shower steps!

When I was out and about yesterday I wanted a watch to keep track of time, so I put it on my right wrist, which felt very weird. Late on New Year's Eve I started to fear a rash was developing on my right wrist, so I took it off. It may have just been dry skin from winter air and dangling the dogs' leashes around that wrist.

I don't know about this whole thing. I would like it to work out, but I'm depressed. Like Rodney Dangerfield, I feel like things happen to me that don't happen to normal people. I never had any real skin problems, hardly any acne, for which I am grateful, but now this? And winter skin so rough I could sand cherry wood with it.

Well, I did get something in my stocking to help with that: 

Yes! MAN LOTION! By MAN STUFF, INC.! It works well and smells -- well, like something that wouldn't embarrass a manly masculine man's man. As they say, "NO GIRLY-GIRL SCENT: If smelling like roses isn't your deal, skip the unisex hand and body cream. Man Lotion has a fresh, clean scent – never overpowering – with no strong, lingering odor." But I may be too manly for it -- I actually broke the pump while unscrewing it. Too much man for Man Lotion to take!

But this kind of thing doesn't work on rashes. Only dry skin. Wah! 2021 sucks!