Thursday, December 12, 2019

Prepare for liftoff.

Dear Jack,

I believe you do not know me, so allow me to introduce myself. My name is Nicholas. I live rather far north of you, so I regret my inability to come visit in person. However, I have been informed that you have hit a bad streak of fortune, and I believe I may be able to assist you. 

You see, I was told that your mother became angry as you traded your family's livestock for a pouch of magic beans. Clearly she does not think of these magic beans as having value, and indeed for many people they could be useless. I, however, require exactly such a thing for my planned delivery service. As such, I am making the offer of one (1) cow's weight in silver in exchange for the pouch of beans. 

You may have heard rumors that magic beans may be used to grow enormous beanstalks and other such things, and perhaps they may be true. However, I suspect there is a great deal of risk in dealing with said beanstalks, such as encountering giants with a particular taste for Englishmen. As your mother's sole support, you ought to wary of any such dangerous ventures. I, on the other hand, hope to use other attributes of these legumes to develop a source of renewable motive power for the benefit of all mankind. 

If my offer is acceptable to you, I will send my representative, Mr. Jangles, to your address with the silver in exchange for the beans. 

Regards,

-Nicholas


THREE MONTHS LATER



2 comments:

Tanthalas39 said...

The (1) reminds me of this blog:

https://thelawlers.com/Blognosticator/?p=810

Dan said...

This one needs a check box that says "That's pretty odd, Fred."