I was in church on Sunday, not paying as close attention as I ought to, because I have the attention span of a four-year-old. I was listening to the singer and I suddenly found myself thinking how songs that sound so perfect could be ruined by a poorly sung note, a clunker of a chord, or a hilariously mispronounced word. Not that our parish musicians would ever do that -- well, maybe the kiddie choir -- but I could easily see me doing that. I've sung in glee clubs and music classes and even a bad band, but my participation was never that noticeable.
It made me think about how easily famous Christmas songs could be completely ruined by changing or adding or subtracting just one or two letters, no more. Such as in the title of the Three Stooges' short, "Wreck the Halls," where the D was replaced by the Wr. Here are a few titles that came to mind.
♫ "Sleigh Rude"
♫ "Jungle Bells"
♫ "Blunt Christmas"
♫ "Winter Wonderlunk"
♫ "I Saw Mommy Kicking Santa Claus"
♫ "The Little Dumber Boy"
♫ "Silver Belts"
♫ "Wonderful Christmas Tomb"
♫ "Marty, Did You Know?"
♫ "Lite Christmas"
♫ "Carol of the Bulls"
♫ "Fruity the Snowman"
♫ "The Christmas Shots"
♫ "Goy to the World"
♫ "Baby It's Cod Outside"
♫ "Nasty Christmas"
♫ "Santa Navy"
♫ "All I Want for Christmas Is Cow"
These don't all make a lot of sense, but in some cases I think they might be all right. Some could even be improvements on the original. Anyone got Sir Paul's e-mail address...?
4 comments:
D was replaced by the Wr
OK, let's use that as the rule:
Your Wraily Wrose of Vitamin Frewr
Nah, let's stick with your custom alterations.
Didn't Snoop Dogg do "Blunt Christmas" on his "Christmas in the Dogg House" album in 2008?
We had a cute little music box shaped like a church organ the played "Silent Night" however, being vintage plastic manufactured in Asia, on the tiny little sheet of music on the stand, it read "Silent Light". Ok, not that funny*, but it is part of Christmas memories.
Still have the music making part, the organ shaped cover got smashed and lost many years ago. I put it behind our Nativity and wind it up when in the mood.
*OK, mondegreen time, I once sang, when I was very young, what came out as "holy imbecile tender and mild".
"HOLY IMBECILE"!? If I weren't laughing so hard, Bear, I'd excoriate youthful you for that. And yes, PLW, I figured if Elvis did Mary Jane like he did uppers, he might have sung "Blunt Christmas."
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