Guardians of the lair.

The other day I was sitting in my recliner, patting both dogs at once, one with each hand. They were sitting peacefully on either side of the chair, and suddenly I felt like a master villain in his lair, his huge and vicious dogs aside his throne.

Mwah ah ah!

My dogs are indeed big fellows, more than 200 pounds together, and some people are quite afraid of them. But they oughtn't be -- my dogs are probably the least vicious, most useless guard dogs one could ever meet.

I think the other supervillains would probably laugh at me.

Maybe I should get some vicious attack canaries.