🎥 Children are more intelligent than adults, and more resourceful
🎥 A clever child can beat an experienced adult man in combat
🎥 So can a woman--any woman
🎥 Picking a fight is a great way to resolve family problems; screaming at each other is healthy
🎥 More men died as a result of Joe McCarthy than as a result of Pickett’s Charge
🎥 All authority is corrupt, except for vigilantes (who willfully break the law)—especially if they wear costumes
🎥 Everyone decent person in the past, in any era or location, secretly believed in the exact same things Hollywood in the 21st century believes in, or would agree if they knew about them
🎥 DNA can be identified within an hour by any city police force
🎥 Silencers silence guns so they sound like a flea fart
🎥 You can do everything better when you’re angry
🎥 Fast hammering on a keyboard is the best way to hack networks
🎥 Girls will and ought to sleep with you on the first date unless you're a catastrophic loser
🎥 Crazy people are more knowledgeable, perceptive, and wise than noncrazy people
🎥 Drinking continuously makes you fun and doesn't hamper your activities, especially if it's important
🎥 Drugs, either
🎥 And you can sober up enough to perform surgery or something with just a slap on the face and a bucket of water
🎥 Any difficult task can be accomplished quickly with a pop tune and a montage
🎥 The capture of vicious criminals is best accomplished by rogue cops working alone or with one faithful partner
🎥 And may involve the destruction of large amounts of public property
🎥 Best friends and lovers start by hating each other, every time
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