Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Hudson Valley summer.

The great thing about writing fiction is that you don't have to look up stuff. It's fiction, dude! Make stuff up! 

So here's some scenes of the Hudson Valley summer, with completely bogus information I'm just making up as I go. Enjoy! 

New York's Hudson Valley is known for its many majestic trees. These are the leaves of the Red Zirble tree, which were featured in the 1825 Washington Irving story, "The Red Zirble Tree." In the story, Persimmon Dale promises to meet her lover, Jeremy Procter, under the magnificent Red Zirble in the town square on the day he returns from England, and then they shall be married. But Procter is untrue, having married a baloney heiress from Twombly-on-Kent before leaving Dover, and he does not show. Meanwhile, Persimmon has also been untrue, and run off with her harpsichord instructor, a man called Phil. No one shows at the tree. The tree doesn't care.

We take our tree houses very seriously in the Hudson Valley. This one, a 500-square-foot model (including finished basement), is in the process of being remodeled. The tree, too, is also being remodeled, its oak being stripped out and replaced by Red Zirble. It is owned by a family of eight by the name of Goolk. They paid too much for it. 

The scenic Hudson Valley town of Sprunt is very proud of its founder, Thos. A. Spruntte, inventor of the annoying overhead wire. Spruntte suggested in letters to eminent men of his day that "a stringe of supficient lengthe, being strunge from place to place over a towne or hamlett, may accomplish several objectives: these being obstruction of viewes, disruption of 'radio waves' (should suche be discovered), and running alonge heads of statues." He festooned his town with long cables of yarn, to no apparent purpose. Sprunt celebrates him at its Founder's Day Parade every year on August 4, when the statue above, carved out of Red Zirble, is pulled down Main Street in a cart by yarn ropes.

The clouds of the Hudson Valley are caused by peculiar atmospheric conditions related to the chilly water flowing from Canada, the humid, swampy air surrounding New York City, and the lack of sunshine deep in the river valley. Called Hudson Clouds, these are known to drop large amounts of snow on random days in August. It is this sudden and brief chill that provides perfect Red Zirble growth seasons. 

And these Yellow Zirbles just looked nice, so I put them in. Enjoy.

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