Sunday, June 12, 2016

Pumpkin paradigm.

Had a casual meeting to attend the other day, so I decided it was time to bring a treat and mess with their heads!

Mwah ah ah! I gave them... PUMPKIN BREAD!

WHOA DUDE NO WAY
Pumpkin bread in JUNE? What mad insanity is THIS?

Even though their minds were totally BLOWN by giving them pumpkin four months in advance (yes, folks, Halloween will here in just four months, and the Halloween stuff will be here in one), they enjoyed it. I did not tell them why I was messing with them Jack-O-Lantern-style, as they might not have appreciated it, but I'll tell you.

Tralfaz the dog, Mr. McFussy Pants, has been a pain in the rear about dinner since he got some wet food a while ago. Mrs. Key wisely did not accede to his demands for canned stuff all the time. We tried to accommodate him by mixing wet and dry food, but his initial excitement turned quickly to disdain. Basically, Teen Wolf was becoming a pain in the ass about food, and that was before our current adventures with synthetic thyroid pills began.

Mrs. Key (comments here sometimes as Marshmallow) heard that some canned pure pumpkin mixed in with dry food was very attractive to dogs. So, I got a can, and Tralfaz rejected it instantly. So, now I have a can of pumpkin ($2.49) with about a teaspoon's worth taken out.

You know I'm not going to let food go to waste, not if I can mix it with sugar and turn it into something tasty. And let me make this clear: No part of the canned pumpkin made contact with the dog or his food at any time, save for the teaspoon that was removed with a clean spoon.

I got a recipe from Food Network, which you can see here; a very simple recipe for pumpkin bread. However, it turned out to be a problem in itself. It supposedly bakes up two large loaves in 30-40 minutes, which is horse hockey (and I would have been warned had I read the comments section). Worse, I had to run out when the bread was about forty-five minutes in and the toothpicks were still coming out gloppy. Mrs. Key took over for me, and guided the bread to their successful completion. I do recommend the recipe, but figure around 60 minutes to bake.

Having challenged conformity, confounded expectations, and outraged the great pumpkin paradigm, who knows what I'll do next? Peppermint macrons in August? Could be anything!

After all, you know what they say about paradigms: those and $2.55 will get you on the subway.
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