Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Ejection Day.

Yes, today is Ejection Day, or it would be if we weren't a nation of imbeciles. And I'm not even complaining about your state. Mine, New York, is as packed full of morons as a Babybel is full of cheese. What else can explain our willingness to reelect a corrupt evil-eyed schmuck as our governor who, if his name had been Andrew Amalfi---and not related to his still-popular father---would probably be working a middle-management job, helping ruin some dopey company by scaring off the clients?

Anyway, I'll be happy to see the end of the lawn signs. They're so sad after the election. Even the signs for the winners look sad. And some candidates' signs show that whiff of desperation that's made even worse when the election is over.

The problem with politics is that it is loaded with politicians. Politicians exist to buy votes. That's what they do. That, these days, is all they do. Unless you count using taxpayer money to buy support from corporations, so the corporations can give them money for reelection so they can go back to buying votes with more taxpayer money. Taxpayers who like their politicians should ask themselves if they're spending more through their taxes than they get back in whatever. Obviously everyone in Washington has to get a cut. So it's hard to believe they wouldn't be getting a better deal to keep their money. People who don't pay any taxes, of course, don't care, so it's in the interest of politicians to make as many of these people as possible. Their votes are not only for sale, they're cheap.

Politicians should come with ingredients labels, like food:

Politician Facts

Serving Size: 1 load of bullcrap

Servings per container: Size of constituency

Daily allowance:
Ego 100%
Self-serving jerkishness: 100%
Buttholery: 85%
Ham-fisted attacks on political opponents: 100%
Evasion: 67%
Outright lies: 59%
Unwillingness to serve anyone who didn't vote for him: 100%
Overconfidence: 100%

May contain one or more of the following: Stupidity, thievery, felonious intent, hyperinflated sense of self-worth, sexual misconduct, delusion, inability to admit errors or wrongdoing, a little blackened soul that looks like a charcoal briquette---very in keeping with its ultimate destination. Approach with caution.


We've gotten way too fond of our political class, as if we expect them to actually do anything worthwhile. I guess if we are the sort who expect other people's money to come our way if we stick the right clown in the chair, then we may not be disappointed. But that's not what a free and independent people are supposed to be about. That's for people with dead consciences who can bear up under the burden of shame.

Look, if you're a reader of this blog, you don't need me to tell you how to vote. You're obviously well-informed, smart, insightful, and wise. (If you read my books you're also good-looking and taller.) I'll just remind you TO vote, and trust you will do the right thing.

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