Real estate time zones.

As I write this, many Americans are encouraging the president and his administration to get rid of Daylight Savings Time. I'm in favor of that idea, but I've lived with it all my life and can get through with it to the end if I must. 

For work purposes, the various time zones in our great nation have caused me issues more frequently than DST, but there's nothing that can be done about that. If I'm hired to work with a company on the West Coast, I have to plan scheduling and deadlines on Pacific Time. We're not going to be like China and force our giant nation to all observe Washington time -- nor should we. 

But real estate time zones are causing me the main trouble right now. 

What I mean by that is this: When you sell a house in New York state with a financed purchase, it can take three months from the signing of the purchase agreement to when you get the money and can move. But then the New Yorker, trying to buy a house elsewhere, finds that he may be on the hook for the new place within 30 days -- two months before he has the cash in hand -- because other states don't fart around like we do here. 

This is our situation now. We have a contract to sell our place, but we don't dare make an offer on a house where we want to go until we're further along. People can get stuck this way, not being able to follow through on an offer and losing their entire deposit. 

I'm not blaming anyone. The system is what it is. The danger of falling between chairs is there; we just have to be careful and not jump at buying until our selling is assured. 

Meanwhile, if I want to distract myself from this tense situation, I should probably start trying on every piece of clothing I own. Now is the time to stop saying "When I lose weight I will fit into this" or "Holes or not, this shirt still has some wears in it" and start saying "Trash or giveaway?" Because there is nothing to be gained by paying to move a bunch of stuff hundreds of miles and then throw it all away. 

But trying all those clothes would ruin my day too, so maybe I'll just take a nap. That sounds nice. I think we can all agree on that. 

Blame Ben.

This weekend we lose an hour of sleep. And for what? Daylight savings time? So we get an hour more of daylight at the end of the day. But we lose an hour of daylight at the top. It seems like "finding money" by taking a sawbuck out of your left pocket and putting it in your right. 

Does it really save energy? Today where I live, the sun is coming up at 6:24 AM and setting at 5:50 PM. The whole workday is covered in sunshine now. If DST had gone into effect, the sun would come up at 7:24 AM and go down at 6:50 PM. Where's the big savings? People will be using electricity and such either at work, getting to or from work, or at home either way. Is it really a big advantage? 

Sam Segal at Stanford found that overall, any energy savings from screwing around with the clocks was minimal and dwindling, that "future trends will make energy savings from DST less likely." He admits that later sunsets may mean less crime and fewer car accidents, but then there's no reason then not to switch to DST all the time and just make it ST. It just seems like a lot of trouble and disrupted circadian rhythms for nothing. 

Blame Ben. 

In William Cabell Bruce's book Benjamin Franklin: Self-Revealed, A Biographical and Critical Study Based Mainly on His Own Writings (G.P. Putnam, 1917), we have this passage:

Franklin enters upon a series of elaborate calculations to demonstrate that, between the 20th of March and 20th of September, the Parisians, because of their habit of preferring candlelight in the evening to sunlight in the morning, had consumed sixty-four millions and fifty thousand pounds of candles, which, at an average price of thirty sols per pound, made ninety-six millions and seventy-five thousand livres tournois. An immense sum! that the City of Paris might save every year by the economy of using sunshine instead of candles; to say nothing of the period of the year during which the days are shorter. This computation is succeeded by a number of suggestions as to the different means by which such of the Parisians as did not amend their hours upon learning from this paper that it is daylight when the sun rises could be induced to reform their habits.

It seems that Mr. Franklin's basis for proposing daylight savings time comes from the fact that Frenchmen are slugabeds who stay up too late carousing. This would be like setting some sort of national policy based on the behavior of people who can't stop binge-watching shows even though they have work in the morning.

I will grant you that 64,050,000 pounds of candles is nothing to sneeze at. That's a lot of wax. And 96,075,000 livres tournois is a goodly sum, something like $1,067,914,981 or a cool billion in modern dollars if you go by the currency converter at Historical Statistics (which requires a few assumptions, but let's say it's close enough). 

On the other hand, electricity and natural gas with an extant infrastructure are not candles; the delivery of the latter is much easier and far cheaper. I daresay that if Franklin did his calculations based on modern technology for a city with the same number of residents as the Paris of his visit, he'd come away with much lower savings -- and that would maintain even if he threw in the price of firewood to warm all those Parisian carousers. 

I'd never spurn old Ben, a truly unique man and definitely a genius, but I believe that even if his analysis was correct for the 18th century, it has led to a solution in need of a problem in the 21st. More trouble than it's worth is the phrase that comes to mind. I know of few things that cause as much universal peevishness in America as daylight savings time, and it should be abolished. 

You may say "What about Franklin's statement on death and taxes? Don't they cause more peeves?" Well, we can't stop death, only slow it down, and taxes inspire hatred, not irritation. If anyone has an idea on how to get rid of taxes short of complete anarchy, I'm listening. 

Short takes.

It's Saturday! What do we got? Memes, candy, food, folks, and fun. Let's wade in. 

1) Cutest Halloween candy

After the holiday I was given this by a friend:

It's the tiniest box of Tic Tacs I've ever seen! Held exactly eight of the little candies. They call it Tic Tac Travels, which makes sense, because it really doesn't work as Halloween candy. Kids like Tic Tacs all right, but they're not the chocolate/sugar bomb kids crave on the day. Mints are for grandmas. 

However, the back of the box also has a cute mascot, so there's that.

2) 

3) Saw this in the freezer department:

Didn't buy them, because I want to stay married. But damn -- little pizza-roll-type snacks stuffed with the amazing taste of White Castle hamburgers? Are you kidding me? If I was having a bunch of guys over to watch football in the man cave, I'd get two bags. And open the windows. Just as well I have no man cave, I guess, and am still off the wokefest NFL. 

4) 

5) Last but never least, always happy to see someone take a shot at overrated stuffed shirt Bill Nye. And DST. 

End DST! Set the sun free! 

The daylights outta me.

Everyone here in New York considers summer over because the kids went back to school. They are aware that summer has officially has 17 more days, but they're thinking of closing the pools and getting the leaf and snow blowers ready for What Lies Ahead. 

My main concern is the lack of daylight. When we hit that first day of fall, the daylight and night darkness will--supposedly--even out. Half and half, Even Steven, Igual Pasquale. Actually, according to Time and Date's invaluable Sun Graph feature, I see that even on the first day of autumn we will have more daylight than darkness, not even counting the twilight. But that won't last long, and soon it will be months of depressing darkness again. Seasonal affective disorder? Moi? Yeah, maybe. 

You can get a good idea of what daylight hours in southern New York look like thanks to the Time and Date sun graph:

It's like a snake that swallowed a big meal in January and is digesting it between May and August. The static bit is of course the daylight savings interruptions in spring and fall. 

Now, let's compare this to the sun graph for a Quito, Ecuador, the Middle of the World City, the city that boasts a monument showing where the Equator runs, and you can stand with one foot in either hemisphere. 

Just as you'd expect -- pretty much straight stripes, the days never getting longer or shorter. I had a friend who lived there for a while, who said he got bored with the perfect weather all the time. I say: Try me.

For the complete opposite, and for alarming comparison purposes, here is the yearly sun graph for the Amundsen-Scott station in Antarctica: 

Isn't that nuts? They say that down there, as at the North Pole, the sun goes down one day and doesn't show up again for six months. This graph shows what a weird thing that is. Look at those huge gray vertical bands--those are sunset and sunrise!

So I see my best options as Quito or running back and forth between the Poles twice a year. Or maybe I should just turn on more lights starting in October. That might be good. 

Return of Fredcoin!

Yes, friends, it's another plug for everyone's favorite cryptocurrency, Fredcoin! 

It's occurred to me that some of you out there in the virtual world still haven't invested your worthless U.S. dollars in rock-solid Fredcoin, and I wonder why. If you find yourself unaccountably reluctant, just look at this notarized list of 15 reasons to put your money in Fredcoin, and I'm sure you will come around. 

1. At Fredcoin, we never fight about whether someone on the bill fought Indians or owned slaves or otherized the bi-gendered in the Gilded Age. We just put Fred on all the documentation and ignore all that trouble. 

2. You can cash in your Fredcoin for S&H Green Stamps anytime you like. 

3. Fredcoin has 25% of your daily requirement of magnesium. 

4. You can't be suckered into losing your Fredcoin in a pachinko machine. 

5. Unlike other crypto guys, I will never forget the password that keeps Fredcoin secure. It's PASSWORD. Isn't that clever?

6. Fredcoin can be used to treat lumbago and has few side effects. 

7. On St. Patrick's Day, ask your bartender if he takes O'Fredcoin, our special issue for the holiday!

8. The word Fredcoin has only eight letters and two syllables. 

9. We're on track to make Fredcoin the first cryptocurrency on the moon!

10. Congress is printing money like crazy people, but not Fredcoin! Who would you rather trust, our insane Congress or ol' reliable Fred?

11. We expect to nail down our sponsorship of the Fredapalooza Festival this year, featuring great acts like the Flangepart Five, Hookers & Lookers, and Smiley Jim and His Magic Accordion. 

12. Wombats prefer Fredcoin two-to-one over regular money.

13. Bitcoin is common as dirt. Fredcoin is for the rarified smart set.

14. Fredcoin is available in Regular and Menthol.

15.  Chuck Norris's birth name is Fred Nioc, which you'll notice is Fredcoin spelled sideways, sort of.

So make Fredcoin part of your complete breakfast!

Finally, a friendly reminder that Daylight Savings Time has begun, so it's time to set those clocks ahead one hour! It's easier to push them forward one hour than to go all around the dial to push them back an hour. It's the only place in life where it's easier to spring forward than to fall behind. 

Sprang ahead.

Pardon me, but I'm writing as if I'm under the influence of some substance. It is all about lack of sleep, though. 

Friday night we had wind gusts of up to 50 mph. Large dog Tralfaz is not afraid of thunder or fireworks, but strong winds freak him out. I stayed downstairs with him overnight to comfort him. That worked brilliantly. I slept about four and a half hours, not in a row. He was whimpering, whining, and wanted to go out a number of times. 

What made it worse was I had a meeting to attend Saturday morning at eight, and three projects for work in the afternoon. And on top of it all, I lost an hour of sleep Saturday night due to Springing Ahead for daylight savings time. I hate springing ahead.

When I was a young man about town, I could go on low sleep for a few days in a row with no major problems. Of course, some of the symptoms of sleep deprivation, like memory issues and trouble with thinking and concentration, were me as I was in college anyway, so the difference would have been hard to notice. Now it actually matters. 

So forgive me for being brief today, but I'm trying to avoid using my laptop as a pillow. 

When will we end the daylight savings time menace? I can't do anything about the wind, and I can't use narcotics on the dog, but there's no reason we should still be dealing with this spring ahead/fall behind nonsense. It's a relic from an earlier time, and I say it's spinach and the hell with it. 

Peak 2020?

Well, here we are. Halloween at last. The horrors of the year are all concentrated on Halloween. 

But no! It's not just Halloween! There's a full moon tonight as well. 

Decorations showing witches and black cats aside, this is not very common. The next full moon on Halloween will occur in 2039. 

But wait! It's also a blue moon, meaning the second full moon this October. This also is not that common; the next blue moon will be August 2023. So all those things that happen once in a blue moon are on the way. 

But it's also the Hunter's Moon, because the last full moon was the Harvest Moon. It's also called the Blood Moon, because it's time to kill all the creatures fattening up for winter. And maybe, since it's on Halloween, humans too. Sounding more threatening yet?

But wait! There's more! It's a full moon on Halloween on a Saturday! How often does that happen? Not often -- I am told the next one is scheduled for 2172. Don't make plans. 

But wait! Again! We also have a mini-moon circling the Earth, which we picked up some time during this annus horribilis of 2020. They call it 2020 SO, as in "2020 I am SO sick of you." No doubt it will act as a force multiplier for whatever other bad juju is in the air. 

AND we're pushing the clocks back tonight as Daylight Savings ends, meaning whatever happens tonight, we'll get an extra hour of it. 

AND we have the Biggest Election EVAH in a couple of days that could mean the END OF LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. 

AND WE STILL HAVE CHINESE DEATH VIRUS AND STUPID RIOTERS HAUNTING OUR STREETS.

So, I think I'm going back to bed. See you in November. 

Tock to me.

Tick tock! I trust you shoved the old clocks forward an hour -- if you live in a place that follows Daylight Savings Time.

It's not an onerous chore, but it demands attention. About half of our most crucial clocks adjust to daylight savings time automatically now. The cable box is one we rely on a lot; there's also an Oregon Scientific weather/clock doodad that gets its info straight from the big NIST-F1 atomic clock in Boulder, or so I recall from the the manufacturer's manual. Sometimes it takes a few hours to pick up the signal and make the change. Our computers update automatically, of course, and the phones. I think my wife's new car does it automatically too, but my 2011 car does not. She also has a step-counting watch that changes as needed, but my analog Eco-Drive Citizen has to be moved forward by hand.

We are also divided on the matter of bathroom clocks. She has one that is programmed to adjust on schedule; the bathroom I focus my efforts in has a cheapo digital that has to be changed manually. It's a good time to check the time, actually, since that clock can lose a minute.

The stove clock is another manual adjuster. The coffeepot too, but we gave up on that one ages ago. The numbers are small, and it's near the bright stove display. Since we don't use its timer feature, we ignore it.

The seldom-used DVD player? I've never programmed the time on that. Don't use it to record, so why bother? Its screen just says --:--.

Similar case with the digital thermostat. When we were both commuting it was a godsend, adjusting the temperature a bit in advance of arrival so the house would be comfortable when we got there. Now that we work at home, I keep it up to date for reference only. Sometimes you want to know the time when you're in the hall. Not often, I know.

And since we do work from home, that means two analog office clocks that have to be advanced.

The bedrooms have digital clocks, and dumb ones; they need to be advanced by hand. One was a futuristic iPhone clock, in which you could dock your iPhone, and while it was charging it would reset the clock if needed. The clock could use any music or sound effect on your phone to wake you up. Unfortunately, the iPhones stopped using that connector, so it's just another digital clock now.

There was an old digital in the unfinished basement, but I haven't bothered plugging it in for ages.

I think that's all of them, but I always feel like there's something I forgot. Since our smoke detectors are hardwired into the house, they don't need battery changing. All the appliances I didn't mention are too dumb to tell time, let alone be connected to the Internet, which is fine by me. When the computer revolution begins, at least I won't get attacked by my washing machine.

The one plus about springing ahead is that the dogs can't tell time. When we fall back an hour in November, they don't see it as an extra hour of sleep. So they want to get up at five instead of six. It takes a while to adjust them to the clock time. Today, they waited until almost seven, which was six yesterday, so while I don't gain an hour of sleep, at least on Dog Standard Time I don't lose one.

Okay, that's everyone and everything accounted for! Bring on spring!

Time, why you punish me?

I got nothin'.

The end of daylight savings time has hit me pretty hard this year, and I'm blaming that. Sure, I'm stressed, and I'm working on a project I don't like, but I'm always stressed, and I'm almost always working on a project I don't like. As a former coworker once told me, "That's why they call it work. If it was fun they'd call it play."

In years past I might get a little saddened when the clocks fell back. I'd leave work and emerge from the building in darkness. Meh, dark now, oh well. If you're young and something like that bothers you, you can just find someone and get a drink.

What's bothering me now isn't the darkness so much as that I just can't catch up. I'm writing this draft after nine p.m. on Tuesday and I feel like it's past ten. That's another thing: When you're in your early twenties, the first blush of youth, you don't feel different at 9:30 or 10:30. When you're older, you do. Time plays a lot of tricks on you.

I can't remember ever having so much trouble resetting the internal clock. I know the dogs are making it harder. For days now their bladders are telling them it's six a.m. when it's actually five. They're patient about that, but less so when the end of the day comes and they want to play and have dinner because the sun is going down, and when it did that on Saturday they had already played and were about to have dinner. Dogs have trouble grasping the notion of time. Snoopy isn't the only dog who goes by his stomach clock.

So I'm tired and grouchy and the dogs are confused and it's dark all the time. I hope I'll feel better tomorrow. And closer to on time.

First week of November.

Just wanted to share a couple of quick thoughts with you on Halloween and the start of November...

1) The schools closed early on Halloween. Yup, our local school system, to which I have just contributed almost nine thousand bucks, sent all the kids home around lunchtime. Now, they called it an educator enrichment session or something like that, but I think it was really a we don't want to deal with your kids who're all worked up on Halloween session. But the joke's on them, because they had to deal with the kids the day after, when they were suffering from horrible candy hangovers (possibly in the high school, hangover hangovers).

2) Junior Varsity Dog Nipper, who barked at the moon a couple of weeks ago, saw this candy bucket that I'd left on top of the coat rack:

It had a sack of candy in it, including Reese's, and if any candy will attract dogs it's probably them, which is bad because chocolate is bad for dogs. Anyway, Nipper saw that ghostly face and went growling and was a second away from losing his mind barking. I hustled the thing out of eyeshot quickly. This kid is on high alert.

3) Definitely saw more scarecrows around as decorations this year. I think Walmart may have been selling cheap made-in-China scarecrows. They're nice because they're attuned to autumn; you can use them as Thanksgiving decorations too. Keep 'em up until you put up the Christmas lights.

Come to think of it, though -- I haven't seen as many crows around lately!

😨

4) It's November! And the weather started off great! And we still have leaves! Pick your colors! Do you like yellow?

Or red?

Either way, every bit of blue sky we can get in November feels like a lucky break.

5) I came about as close as I ever have to getting just the right amount of candy. I would have been almost perfect except I belatedly thought to get some Tootsie Rolls and Tootsie Pops, in case we had any Teal Pumpkin kids. We didn't, as it turned out. So, I overbought, which is fine. As with so many things, it's better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

6) Hi from the chickens!

Okay, they're are not my chickens. I saw them on Sunday. Whoever owns them I'm sure was thrilled that the CDC said it was safe to dress up your chickens in little chicken costumes for Halloween. I'm sure these chaps were decked out appropriately on Wednesday. Ready for a little cluck-or-treating.

🐔🐔🐔

So now the next blow is the end of Daylight Savings Time, the brighter mornings and the dark, dark nights. Come right on in, seasonal affective disorder!

It's all dark!

Nah, I'm not complaining about the election. I'm still trying to cope with the end of Daylight Savings Time. It's all dark, dark, darkity dark dark dark.

Approximately three p.m.

It could be worse; President Bush signed the Energy Policy Act in 2005 that moved the end of DST four or five weeks later (depending on the year). So October is not so dark, but now November feels darker than ever. Made for easier trick-or-treating, anyway.

It's just hard to adjust, even if, like me, you've never been diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder. It's hard because it's so sudden. The daylight wanes slowly through July and August and September---then comes the end of DST and the door slams on your face. On Friday you came home from work under the reddened glow of sunset; on Monday you got home from work under curtain of night. It's like the difference between being aging and being diagnosed with a degenerative disease. Yeah, I'm getting older to Wow, I'm mortal.

There is one advantage, though, to getting older and feeling the peel of time go faster, like the famed roll of toilet paper that expends itself more quickly as it nears the end: You actually take comfort in the knowledge that the days will start getting longer again in less than two months. Two months is forever when you're five, a marathon when you're fifteen, a sprint when you're fifty. At my age, two months is barely enough time to get the house clean.

There's still question as to whether Daylight Savings Time actually saves energy, as it was purported to do. (Good piece in Scientific American on that here.) All I can say is, it's done nothing for my own personal energy. More coffee is about the only thing that helps with that.