Friday, May 27, 2022

A word from the CEO.

Good morning, friends and customers. It is I, Frederick Key, founder and CEO of Fredcoin, and I wanted to take a moment of your time to talk about the state of cryptocurrency and the safety of your investment in Fredcoin.

You've probably been hearing a lot of horror stories about hotshot young investors being wiped out with the collapse of cryptocurrency values in recent weeks. Terra Luna lost more than 99% of its value. A fellow who invested $15,000 in Cardano watched the value of his investment drop to $3,000. South Korean investors want to strangle a 30-year-old brat whose crypto collapsed like an angry toddler. It might make you ask yourself, "Myself, should I take my money out of the world's finest cryptocurrency, Fredcoin, and put it in something safer, like an old cigar box?"

To which I would like to reply, with all due respect: Are you nuts? How can you cheat yourself out of the fantastic investment offered by keeping your shrinking dollars in Fredcoin? Why, Fredcoin is rock solid!

As solid as the 
Old Man of the Mountain!

Let me tell you a few reasons why Fredcoin won't face the same risks of those other, lesser cryptocurrencies. 

1) No leverage. Often investors put themselves at risk of catastrophic failure by using debt to invest in a currency. But you'd have to be whacko to take out a lot of debt to buy Fredcoin! Everyone knows that!

2) Liquidity issues. When the stock market goes south, bargain hunters show up. That doesn't happen with most cryptos. But with Fredcoin, the bargain hunters are among the investors! Yes sir, you can't drop further than rock bottom!

3) Security breaches. We at Fredcoin can assure you we've had none of them. Why, to be a target of hackers, you'd have to have something of great value, right? QED! Nothing to worry about.

4) Big-time investors skewing the market. If Elon Musk jumped aboard the Fredcoin bandwagon, that would cause a rush to inflate the value of it. But that could equally cause a terrific fall if he or a bunch of profit-takers sold out just as quickly. Well, I assure you, no big-time investor is showing up at my door, no sir! 

So there you go, four reasons why Fredcoin is the most bulletproof of all the cryptos. No matter what else happens in the market, remember: Your Bread Is Safe With Fred! 

P.S.: Mr. Musk, if you should want to contact us for any reason, just use the link to send an email, okay? Just like if you want to say hi or something.

1 comment:

Stiiv said...

Fredcoin - the crypto that puts the "boomph" in "cryptoboomph"!