Fredcoin!

I think I've finally figured out how I can best get rich make a contribution to improve the lives of others. Yes, I've decided to enter the world of decentralized digital currency. I am issuing my own version of Bitcoin, called Fredcoin, and you, my friends, can get in on the ground floor. 

Now, I expect you may have some questions. Like:

1) Do you know what you're doing? No, but that's the beauty of digital currency; I don't have to know! People can mine for Fredcoin all day long, and trade their Fredcoins for all sorts of things like... more Fredcoins! Basically it's like Minecraft, except unlike digital currency, users expect a base level of competency with Minecraft. If the Minecraft guys lost the password to the game and locked everyone out, that would be bad. You can't get away with that kind of foolishness when fun is on the line, but money? Sure, why not.

2) Isn't Fredcoin a silly name? Yep, but so are the names of other cryptocurrencies like Dogecoin, Titcoin, Ripple, Shiba Inu, and LGBcoin. Speaking of the last, a shoutout to Brandon Brown: If the LGBcoin deal falls through, give me a call! 

3) Do I get actual Fred-embossed coins with Fredcoin? No, you get something better! With every purchase you get a personally signed e-mail from me with the date and number of your Fredcoins, as well as my thanks and a virtual pat on the back.

4) Is Fredcoin completely worthless? Of course not! Like everything in life, you have to put something into it to get something out. If you will send me $100 today, I will send you one Fredcoin. Bam! A Fredcoin is now worth $100. See how easy it is? If you decide to sell your Fredcoin, make sure you get no less than $100 for it. Insist on more. Then I and all the other Fredcoin owners make money. 

5) Come on: Is this fiat currency or what? Yes, but so are American dollars. You just have to clap for Tinkerbell and everything will be fine. (Maybe I should have called it Tinkercoin.)

6) Is this legal? Good question!

I have high hopes for Fredcoin, hopes that include you, my friend. Send in your dough today and let's get started. As the great Barney Rubble once said, "When people get used to my money, they won't accept any other." If it worked in the Stone Age, it can work in the Digital Age!