Sunday, May 3, 2020

Where there's smoke, there's laundry.

Walking the dog around the side of the house one chilly, humid morning, I saw great billows of white smoke coming from the back. For a split second the primal alarm went off in my head -- FIRE! -- but by the time the second ended I realized that most fires don't smell like Snuggle.

Yes, and I had been the one who put the laundry in the dryer just before going outside.

Depending on the weather, the scent of dryer exhaust can really permeate the air, visibly or not. I do not complain about this. Everyone wants the clothes to smell nice. No one is washing the clothes in coal tar. So I'll be walking the dog and he's sniffing the grass and I'm like "Oh, the Johnsons are up early and doing today" or "The Smiths use Snuggle too."

Bears in the neighborhood.
Does it introduce a man-made perfume into nature's glory? Yes. Is that a problem? No. The dryer vent effusion is fleeting. And nature mostly smells like nothin', although sometimes it's very nice, and sometimes very bad.

Sherlock Holmes wrote a monograph on tobacco ash called Upon the Distinction Between the Ashes of the Various Tobaccos. Since true tobacco connoisseurs are thin on the ground these days, I think a modern-day Holmes might instead write Upon the Distinction Between the Scents of the Various Laundry Products, focusing on their color, scents, effectiveness, and whatnot. He, or perhaps a chemical scientist for a soap company, might be passing down my block and announce, "Aha! Clearly the scent of Lirio detergent, tempered with a dash of EnsueƱo. We may conclude that the residents are not merely Latino, but likely Mexican!" Or, "Hinklemeyer claims to have been shopping for laundry soap at the Mega World at the day of the crime, but his clothes smell distinctly of Kroger's house brand." Or, "You detect that, Watson? A mix of Downy Unstopables with Snuggle Scent Booster. Fresh scent and Blue Iris Bliss, unless I miss my guess. The occupants clearly are using extraordinary means to cover odors in their laundry. Come to the dryer vent, Watson; the game's afoot!"

Mostly I find it amusing when a family's laundry announces itself as far as the sidewalk. And a little relieved. In this quarantine era some people are getting a punchy, and might be wearing the same sweats for a couple of weeks. Let's keep our focus, people!

4 comments:

bgbear said...

Laundromats too. You can smell one almost a mile away.

Can't stand the stuff, I buy fragrance free detergent, softener, and dryer sheets. Frebreeze is the worse, I rather hang out with a skunk.

peacelovewoodstock said...

VF>No one is washing the clothes in coal tar.

Which made me think of the Packer's Pine Tar soap my dad used when I was young. Powerful stuff, still sold (since 1869).

Reviews on Amazon can be unkind ("smells like Pine-Sol") but more than 70% of reviews are five star.

I'm going to try some out as a novelty, and to see what kind of aroma-based memories it triggers.

And to what bgbear said, there is no detergent or dryer sheet that leaves laundry smelling fresher than clothesline drying.

Stiiv said...

Walking to work tonight will be a laundry detergent wonderland; most of my neighbors seem to do their laundry (laundries?) on Sunday nights. Smell-o-rama!

FredKey said...

I like the scented stuff, but Bear, I confess that skunks are cute, which is more than can be said for my neighbors. Woodstock reminds me of a girl I was hung up on once who used Selsun Blue, very powerful coal tar scent. I guess her dandruff was pretty bad, but Selsun seemed to have worked. Anyway, the smell of that stuff reminded me of her.