Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Fred and the other antiques.

This week on Antiques Roadshow, we visit New York's scenic Hudson Valley!


[Fred is seated at table displaying his objet d'art.]

Philip Derdunster (of Derdunster + Derdunster Antiques Unlimited, Peoria, Il): So, what have you brought us today?

Fred: Grant's Tomb.

PD: Ah.

Fred: The original, yeah. My grandpa was walking around Manhattan one day and spotted it. No one seemed to own it, so he just took it home. He left it to my father, and my father left it to me.

PD: Grant's Tomb.

Fred: Yeah, real nice, isn't it?



PD: Of course, Grant's Tomb, also known as the General Grant National Memorial, was dedicated in 1897 and houses the remains of the late Civil War general and president Ulysses S. Grant and his wife, Julia. More than a million people attended the parade and dedication. The tomb was built in the Classical style after a large fund-raising effort. It was modeled after the Mausoleum of Halicarnassus in Bodrum, Turkey.

Fred: See, now, I just thought it was a good-looking building. You taught me a lot.

PD: Oh, yes, it is a national treasure.

Fred: Worth a lot of money, then, huh?

PD: Well... I'm sorry to have to break this to you, but -- and I consulted with my colleagues about this -- your Grant's Tomb is not actually the original. It is, in fact, a reproduction.

Fred: No way!

PD: Indeed. Here are some telltale signs. When I tap on it with my little stick here? You can tell that it is not actually marble, but rather hollow plastic.

Fred: Well... I did think it was kind of light.

PD: And there are some other slight differences. For example, your Grant's Tomb is approximately 28 inches tall, whereas the original is approximately 150 feet tall. That's 1,800 inches. It is in fact the largest mausoleum in North America.

Fred: Wow, they measured it and everything, huh? I did think this one was kind of small to fit Grant. I heard he was pretty fat.

PD: Moreover, Grant's Tomb is still where it usually can be found, on Riverside Drive at West 122nd Street.

Fred: You're sure?

PD: We called the National Park Service to check.

Fred: My, my.

PD: And you notice this writing in the back? "Made in China"?

Fred: Yeah, I just thought the government got some Chinese marble workers for cheap.

PD: No. This is probably only about four or five years old.

Fred: Sheesh. Well, color me disappointed. Grandpa sure has some explaining to do.

PD: But this is a very nice model of the structure, we all agreed on that. In the current market, at auction, we would expect it to bring ten dollars. Maybe if there was a bidding war, twelve dollars.

Fred: Well, that's... something. Say, I heard that the Chinese are buying up a lot of their old arts and crafts that were imported to the West--

PD: This doesn't count.

Fred: Darn. Hey, could Ulysses S. Grant's white horse be buried in this tomb?... No, I guess not.

PD: Please go now.

[Cheap Knockoff of Grant's Tomb: $10-$12]

2 comments:

Fiendish Man said...

What's buried in Grant's Tomb?

Fred's expectations!

FredKey said...

Grandpa also found this nice bridge connecting Brooklyn and Manhattan... I dunno, maybe I should have brought that instead.