Friday, March 29, 2019

Press button.


Bzzt

Bzzt

Bzzzzzzzzzt

"Yes, can I help you?"

"Hi."

"Yes, is there a problem?"

"I'm afraid so."

"How can I help?"

"It's kind of hard to describe."

"Is it a problem with the pump?"

"No, no, you see . . ."

". . . Yes?"

"I'm very lonely."

". . . I'm sorry, sir, what did you say?"

"I'm very lonely. There, I said it. I'm very lonely and I wanted to speak to an attendant."

"Ummm . . . I don't think an attendant can help you with that, sir."

"Oh, please, you don't know what it's like. You sit in the store all evening while people come up and pay for gas and buy coffee and Twinkies. I work alone all day in a lab, doing test results for phlebotomists."

"Well, that's an important job."

"Yes, I know, and I'm proud of it, but no one ever comes to say hi, how are you, Ted. That's my name. Ted."

"Hi, Ted."

"Hi."

"I think your job sounds better than selling gas and milk and Goo Goo Clusters."

"People need those things. It's an essential service. Well, maybe not the Goo Goo Clusters."

"I dunno -- you ever have one?"

"Not in years."

"You could come in and get coffee and a Goo Goo Cluster. Or maybe Bud Light? We have a special on twelve packs."

"No, thanks, I don't like beer. Thanks for calling me Ted, though."

"Sure. Well, come on in and pay for the gas. Oh, I see you used a card at the pump. That's you on pump twelve, right?"

"You can see me?"

"Not too good. I'm in the office right now. I was on break when I heard you buzz. You're on camera. That's you in the knit cap, right?"

"Yeah, that's me, me and my stylist snorkel coat! Hi!"

"I see you waving. Hi!"

"I didn't think that was you at the front desk. You don't sound like you have a beard."

"Ha! I'm not twenty-six, either."

"So, yeah, I was about to drive away when I saw the sign. I am sorry to bother you."

"That's okay, Ted. It's nice to hear from you."

"Oh, you must talk to people all evening."

"Not everyone is friendly like you, Ted. And it's not really a dream job. You run a register and hope you don't get held up. Whoopee."

"Well, you sound very nice. I'm sure you could do something you'd enjoy better."

"No, the hours suit me. Although I sometimes think . . ."

"Yes?"

". . . I thought about going back to school, finishing my degree, but with the kids and all -- it's just a bad time, Ted."

"I understand."

"Would you like to come in the store? That guy in the red minivan on pump three is looking in your direction."

"No, I should probably go. It was nice talking with you."

"You too, Ted. You shouldn't be so lonely. You're a nice guy. Come by whenever."

"I will. Maybe I'll get a Twinkie."

"Debbie."

"Or a Little Debbie, sure."

"No, I mean my name is Debbie. Bye, Ted."

"Bye, Debbie. And thanks."

2 comments:

raf said...

Sounds like Ted could have been a copy editor in a different revision. Good thing you have the dogs.

FredKey said...

Well, I see Ted as unmarried; as a married man (with dogs, yes), loneliness seems like a luxury sometimes.