Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Well, shut my mouth.

So I can stop eating stuff like this. 

The funny thing is, I never had a real s'more until a year or so ago. Never went camping. Never went out in the Winnebago to pester nature. I was a big-city Cub Scout, so we got merit badges for removing bullets, swiping hubcaps, killing rats, and getting bagmen to turn informant*. I'd had s'more-flavored cereals and whatnot, but not an actual graham cracker/chocolate/melted marshmallow sandwich. And when I finally had one, I was pleased to say that the real thing beat the imitators. 

I guess I was looking for that s'more flavor, but, knowing I could only get it from the real deal, I decided to get a fake one that was jacked up with a little something extra. And that something extra, of course, is caramel. Because a s'more isn't sweet enough. 

All of which leads me to some questions:

1) It s'more the singular for s'mores? Or is s'mores also the singular? Like moose and moose. Or algae and alga? S'mores and s'ma? Russell Stover thinks you can have one s'mores. Maybe they're right.

2) Russell Stover is gas station-quality chocolate, I know. Their slogan could be "Helping Desperate Husbands Since 1923." My question here is: You didn't get your mother a box from the supermarket for Mother's Day, did you? Uuuuhhh... we'll just forget we had this conversation.

3) What did the Russell Stover Caramel S'mores taste like? 

Here's the inside:

And after a taste:

You know something? It was pretty good. The chocolate was non-to-die-for, but it was definitely chocolate, and this was a thick, generous serving. Graham crackers and marshmallow were only average, but really, how often does one encounter artisan graham cracker or marshmallow outside of the major cities? Anyway, the classic s'more(s) is made of Hershey's milk chocolate, which is a sentimental fave but not the highest quality chocolate around. 

So I was satisfied with this item, although the caramel was kind of lost in the other flavors anyway. If you must buy Russell Stover, I would recommend something in the s'mores line. And since Dad doesn't care about the pretty box, you could buy a sackful of these for Father's Day and he'll be thrilled. And if he doesn't like them, you can send them to me. 


*Not really, but I never went camping either. 

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