Only two weeks to go until the Second Annual Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day on June 2!
|"I'm overcome wit' emulsions!"|
We all know we have to bone up on our Slip Mahoney malapropisms; but a casual perusal of his quotes reminds us that we need to have random insults ready for our nearest and dearest. Like:
Sach: I lost my button.
Slip: You lost your buttons a long time ago!
Sach: I wish I was in the ring, I'd fracture that guy.
Slip: You couldn't fracture a toy balloon.
As you can see, it helps to have a dumb sidekick handy at all times to give you the intro. In an ideal world, Talk Like Horace Debussy "Sach" Jones Day would fall on the same day as Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day, so you'd always have a ready straight man. If you can find one willing to play along, or just a dumb guy to hang around with, though, you're all set.
Just wait for your pal to make a simple declarative sentence; then seize on the key idea and turn it around. If it happens to be an opportune time to deliver a casual threat, go for it. Use your angry New Yawk accent to seal the deal.
Him: What's the weather like tomorrow?
You: For you? Cloudy with a chance of stupid.
Him: Can I use your phone?
You: What, you checking your reservation at the nuthouse?
Him: I sure could use a sandwich.
You: You sure could use a knuckle sandwich!
And remember, kids, no actual fighting beyond hitting with your hat. The hat-hitting, so well identified with Skipper Jonas Grumby, was another great move of Slip's, and a way to be Sliplike without even opening your yap.
All right! Two weeks to go! Practice your malapropisms, insults, and threats, buy a sturdy hat, and let's get ready!