Thursday, January 29, 2015

The bloodletting.

Once again it was time to go drop a pound. After all, a pint's a pound the whole world 'round, right?

Yeaaahhh, bro, maxin' and chillaxin' at the blood drive, boyyyeeee.
It's like a high-end spa, you know. People take you to your lounge chair, check on how you're doing, escort you to where they serve you food and drink... and all it costs you is some life's blood (literally).

I'm a longtime bleeder, as I've written before, and I recommend it. It's great for us tightwads, who can commit an act of charity without spending money. And people need the stuff -- there's no artificial blood. I've been hearing about the promise of plastic blood since I was a kid. It actually may come true soon -- but not yet, and even then the stuff in development is not going to replace all need for human blood.

Meanwhile, people need blood for all kinds of reasons, not just because they thought motorcycle helmets are for wimps or they thought it would be multitasking to shave while chain-sawing firewood. More than 41,000 blood donations are used a day, says the American Red Cross, and it's needed by people with cancer, sickle cell disease, and all sorts of other medical problems not related to stupidity.

And it doesn't hurt a bit!

No, really, it only hurts a little. Man up, babypants!

So that's what I did, and I hope you will too if you can. Yes, you will feel better about yourself, and yes, the Recording Angel may add your pint to the good side of the scales and wipe out a pound of your miserable sins. But most of all you will help someone by doing something the person really and literally cannot do for himself---get healthy blood when he needs it.

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