Wednesday, January 14, 2015


When I first saw an ad for the Garmin Vivofit, I thought it was so colossally stupid that it had to be the stupidest thing I'd seen in the last, oh, forty minutes. Basically it appeared to be a naggy wristwatch, a weenie little device that looked like a cheesy digital except it had the power to annoy you until you threw it against the wall. If I wanted to not use an irritating electronic gizmo, I would just continue to not use the pedometer I was given years ago.

"Get off your hinder, you big pantload!"

Then I found out that the Vivofit was just the beginning. There are a ton of these fitness bands, and each one is more annoying than the next. Basically I thought that these were predicated on the idea that people had no idea they have to get up and move to get exercise; that they were under the impression that the best way to get exercise was to push the A button faster. 

But a relative of mine got one for Christmas. I would have presumed it was a gift---or an intervention---from a very brave loved one, but it turned out she had asked for it by name. She got into it, and her New Year's resolution, right away. She enjoys syncing it up and seeing her progress, earning medals and stuff, trying to beat the achievements of the day before. Basically it's like Candy Crush, only useful. 

I'm proud of her, and I may rescind some of my disdain if it really helps her and keeps her motivated. As for me, I will continue to use my low-tech fitness device, a device that acts as a reminder to keep me motivated, and has done for many years---my pants.

"Get off your hinder, you big pantload!"

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