Monday, August 18, 2014

The Princess Interviews: Part II.

A couple of weeks back we began our series of Princess Interviews, wherein we interview prospective princesses from Brothers Grimm stories, looking for one that Disney can co-opt into one of their animated movies. We like to help out in our little ways, and we think Disney could use a boost. At the rate they're going, they'll be raiding the Mahabharata for princesses soon, and that could get sticky. 

Today's candidate comes to us from the story "Lily and the Lion." This could be a winner---our eyes lit up with the idea of a singing lion pal.

Interviewer: Good morning, Lily. Now, how long have you been a princess?

Lily: Oh, it was after I married the enchanted prince. He was only a lion by day, you know. Him and his whole court. The rest of the time he was my sweet baby nookums. 

Int.: Sounds a little Beauty-and-the-Beasty.

Lily: Well, sure, it starts off like that, with the whole fear of being murdered by my future husband, but that's only the beginning of the story. It's much more sophisticated than that dumb ol' Belle's fairy tale. 

Int.: You get married in the end like Belle, right? We like a nice wedding.

Lily: No, no; I get married at the beginning, in the seventh paragraph I think, after my future husband decides to be nice and not eat me. 

Int.: Well... we don't really go for stories about married women.

Lily: But this is such a great story! Lots of adventure. I get to smite a dragon!

Int.: That's promising.

Lily: And the dragon is an enchanted princess, who reverts to human form but steals my husband, but he's not a lion anymore, actually he'd been cursed and turned into a dove, but that was kinda my fault but not really, I mean who makes the rules on curses anyway? 

Int.: To be honest, I don't---

Lily: Yeah, he was this dove because some torchlight fell on him, which would have been okay because I was a little tired of the lion bit; lions shed a lot, you know? And the butcher bills! But he was a dove all the time, not just during the day, and he was forced to go flying all over the world, and I had to follow him, and this went on for years! And we had a little kid by then! So I talked to the sun---

Int.: Whose son? Yours? 

Lily: No, silly, the sun in the sky! 

Int: You talked to the sun in the sky.

Lily: He was so nice; he gave me a dress. And I talked to the moon, who gave me an egg, and the east wind and the west wind, but they were no help---

Int.: About this dragon you smote...

Lily: Yes, well, that hussy was going to steal my husband, but I sneaked up to his night chamber---

Int.: Whoa, there!

Lily: And I tried to talk to him, but she'd knocked him cold with a roofie, and---

Int.: Well, Your Highness, it's been---

Lily: Oh, I didn't tell you about the nut!

Int.: I think you may have.

Lily: We had to make our escape on this griffin, see, but it wouldn't be strong enough to fly over the sea without resting, but I had this magical nut that would turn into a tree, so---

Int.: Whoops! Look at the time! Thanks again for coming in.


Keep tuned to this blog for future installments of the Princess Interviews!

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