Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Don't fear the canned asparagus.

One of the advantages of working from home is that you usually can set your own hours, which means that instead of grocery shopping on Saturday with everybody else, you can go, like, early on Thursday morning. The only people in the store at that hour are a few moms with toddlers and the elderly.

Which is why I'm surprised that my local store likes running Late 70's / Big 80's music on the PA at that time. The moms of preschoolers were preschoolers themselves when the 80's ended; the elderly stopped buying records around the time Captain Beefheart stopped being a name to conjure with in the music business.

I don't mind shopping with the old-timers. God bless them, I hope I'm that spry when I'm 112. But it's kind of embarrassing even now for me to hear something a little raunchy on the loudspeaker (like "Love in an Elevator") while standing next to someone old enough to be my mom. My own mom has passed on, but those teen feelings of embarrassment when your parents caught you watching a sex scene on TV never go away.

The age problem also leads to other awkward moments. It was especially striking when I was in the aisle with about five senior citizens (total age: 627) and Blue Öyster Cult's "(Don't Fear) the Reaper" came on.


Uhh... hmm.

Personally, I'd be just as happy if they used the kind of pablum music that was actually used in the supermarket around the time the BOC recorded "Reaper":


Stupid, soothing, and didn't interfere with the mission: Find and buy food. Since when did the grocery store have to be cool?
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