Dave fiddles while Ken Burns.

Last night the first part of the Ken Burns documentary about Jackie Robinson premiered on PBS. I didn't see it. The Mets were busy getting @*#&^ slaughtered.

So I wasted my time while I could have been watching the work by Burns, America's most beloved documentarian.

"You loved Baseball, didn't you?"

Burns was at Citi Field the other day, talking about his new film in the booth during the game. Suddenly I had a stunning revelation:

Ken Burns is Dave Barry's more serious kid brother.

I'd say separated at birth, but Dave is a little older and looks it (born 1947 to Burns's 1953). But they're both originally from New York. They've both expressed a love for sports. Their last names have five letters and start with B. They've both had failed marriages. They've both won the top awards in their fields -- Pulitzer, Emmys. etc. And most importantly, they both have all their hair and cut it the same way they did in 1965.

See? Clearly related.

Now, this could lead to some bickering around the Burns/Barry dinner table at Thanksgiving, since Dave is a libertarian and Burns is a Democrat. Burns made The Civil War; Barry wrote Boogers Are My Beat. But I'm sure when they look at their many similarities, especially their hair, they will come to realize that what brings them together is more important than what pulls them apart. Mainly, their barber. And isn't that what the holidays are all about?

(It's unclear to me at this writing what Burns's position is on beer; if his PBS series Prohibition was very pro-beer, then I think we can say for sure they are brothers.)