I got nothin'.

I apologize, but for some reason I really have nothing much to say today. I'm under deadline, working on a book I did not write. Some of these projects suck the life out of you; with every tiring, dreadful page you feel yourself get a little older. This isn't one of those. It's a good book but a short deadline.

I thought hey, maybe I should write some more about politics and religion, just in case I have one or two readers left!

So here are some thoughts from Monday, when I wasn't chugging through work:

• A friend of mine and I decided that we were not Pope material. Which is too bad, because he's looking for a new job.

• A woman on a rerun of Antiques Roadshow had an old painting from the cellar that she didn't like appraised at $300,000. I'd learn to love that painting. Or rather, I'd learn to love the pile of money I got for it.

• I was informed that people who enjoy calling themselves seekers will never allow themselves to become finders.

• I found out that something like 9 out of 10 peptic ulcers are caused by Helicobacter pylori, not by overuse of NSAIDs or tumors or stress or Mexican food (the latter two were often and wrongly blamed in the past). I don't have a peptic ulcer, but if I get one, I'm going to hunt down the creep who gave me H. pylori and feed him or her Scotch bonnets. 

• For some reason actual little chocolate rabbits were impossible to find in the supermarket. This happened because I promised some to a friend as a gag gift. The supermarket got wind of this and immediately hid or gave away all the supplies when they knew I was coming. They are in the conspiracy to vex me.

And that was Monday. Let's see if Tuesday has anything less stupid in it.