Friday, December 25, 2015

The North Poll!

Happy Christmas to all! I hope you were all good and got what you wanted from Jolly Old St. Nick.

Ho Ho etc.
Of course, many people do not get the presents they want, while some get exactly the perfect thing, even if it's something they didn't think they wanted. That said, our crack team of telephone surveyors have already been hitting the lines, speaking to Registered and Likely Celebrators of Christmas, finding out the state of America's gift receiving, Christmas 2015. We even talked to the Man on the Street,

He wasn't much help.

Here's what they found:

1) What did you want for Christmas?

iPad: 18%
iPhone: 10%
Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle with a compass in the stock: 8%
Official Red Swingline Stapler: 6%
Jingtinglers: 4%
Gardookas: 2%
Miss Universe crown: 12%
Coal: 5%
Lexus with a huge bow on it like in the commercial I saw 8,000 times: 10%
Hoverboard: 10%
Other: 3%

2) Did you get what you wanted?

Yes: 16%
No: 84%

3) Why or why not?

I was nice: 29%
I was naughty: 33%
I was falsely accused of naughtiness: 21%
I was insufficiently naughty: 17%

4) What did you get for Christmas?

Gift card: 26%
Blumbloopas: 14%
Floofloovers: 10%
Slooslunkas: 5%
Tie: 11%
Zoozittacaray set: 10%
Flatware: 7%
Socks: 12%
Misfit toy train with square wheels: 3%
The huge bow from the Lexus with nuthin' under it: 2%

5) Are you happy with your presents?

They're okay: 17%
Not really: 43%
Not at all: 40%

6) What's the worst thing you got for Christmas?

Gift card from someplace I never heard of: 25%
Inadequately priced gift card: 61%
Floofloovers: 14%

7) What will you do with your unwanted gifts?

Use, grudgingly: 30%
Put in closet, forget: 22%
Exchange: 15%
Regift: 16%
Throw out: 9%
Take out of closet when the giver comes over: 6%
Eat: 2%

8) If exchanging, what will you get?

Jingtingers: 21%
Gift card: 40%
Cheap sweater: 5%
Official Red Swingline Stapler: 20%
Twinkies: 14%

9) If regifting, who will you give it to?

Accidentally to original giver: 44%
Someone else: 56%

10) Were the kids as ungrateful as you?

Close: 14%
More: 60%
Lots more: 26%

11) What was the best thing you got for Christmas?

iPad: 22%
The box the gift came in: 38%
Jingtingers: 19%
Big fat whomping gift card: 20%
Twinkies: 1%

12) Did you get the person who gave it to you something equally great?

No: 70%
I thought I had: 15%
Probably not: 15%

13) What will you ask for next year?

Big fat whomping gift card: 38%
Newer iPad: 30%
Slooslunkas: 4%
Great Big Electro Whocardio Schnook: 5%
How about tens and twenties?: 22%
Better box for the gift to come in: 1%

14) Can you, like all the Whos down in Whoville, have a great Christmas even if you didn't get what you wanted?

Yes: 21%
Possibly: 18%
No way: 16%
I'm the mother, I do it every year: 45%

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