Bat tree.

"Welcome to the Bat Phone. Your call is important to us. For English, press one. Para español, presione dos."

[1]

"Please listen carefully, as our options have changed. For the escape of a supervillain, press one. For a random crime spree, press two. For a new, undocumented supervillain, press three. For a crowd disturbance, press four. For organized criminals that need hurting, press five. For miscellaneous punching, press six. For all other options, press seven. To hear these options again, press zero."

[1]

"For insane clowns, press one. For costumed thieves, press two. For metahumans, press three. For monsters, press four. For mad scientists, press five. For assassins, press six. For serial killers, press seven. For general wackos, press eight. To return to the main menu---"

[2]

"For Riddler, press one. For Puzzler, press two. For Catwoman, press three. For Magpie, press four. For---"

[1]

"If there has been a crime, press one. If there is a riddle threatening a crime, press two. If there has been no activity yet by this suspect, press three."

[2]

"Thank you for alerting Batman. Batman knows there are other superheroes you could call, and appreciates your trust in his crimefighting. Please hold the line and a costumed representative will be with you shortly."