Sunday, October 1, 2023

Give it The Face.

I gave this giraffe to my wife years ago as an office mascot. She's got a different desk now, so she returned it to me for my use. Naturally I am thrilled. 



Look at that guy! Bendable, unlike me. Love the face: What a perfect mixture of shock and confusion. Maybe some disgust as well. He has no tag anymore, but I think he may have been a product of the late, lamented Alex Toys, a firm based in New Jersey. Alex was a fun company; lots of clever hands-on stuff for kids of all ages. In the early part of this century they were making baby toys that usually had powerful colors like this giraffe, colors that scientists said babies could see well with their underdeveloped vision. Lots of red and black, as if the babies were training to be Stendahl scholars. That seemed very important at the time, but now we're in the boho baby era, and things are more muted. I don't know if that's why Alex went under in 2020 -- its assets were sold, and the name survives in Canada under the name Alex Global Products. 

Or it could he was from some other outfit.


I think I'm going to like having him with me as I work. I'll just let him respond for me. For example, if someone reaches out and says they have a 500-page book that needs proofreading by Wednesday, I'll just let the giraffe handle it.



And he could come in handy for other statements. Like, "You know, COVID-19 was totally not invented by the Chinese lab that just happened to be working on weaponizing that exact virus."


Or, "When we say 'fortified the election,' we don't mean it was stolen, we just mean it was... boosted, like with a supplement."



"Peaceful but fiery protest."



"The economy is roaring! There are rich people in every city!"⭐


"Dudes who play women's sports ARE women!"


You get the idea. 

Well, I think I'm ready for Monday. But if things keep going the way they have been, I may have to get a whole menagerie of these animals. I'd wear this guy's face right out in no time. 

🦒🦒🦒🦒🦒

⭐This was basically the argument on a recent GLoP Culture podcast, that America is not in danger because we still have rich people in all the cities. I think the hosts have been spending too much time on yachts (there was an actual Mediterranean yacht story) and not enough time with families using credit cards to buy groceries, but what do you expect? An Eli, a guy who inherited a magazine from his dad, and a guy whose parents were both machers in the publishing industry who (incredibly!) became a writer.

6 comments:

Stiiv said...

If Disaster Giraffe helps, by all means, give him a spot on your desk. Two things I keep on my desk are a "World's Greatest Dad" award that looks like an Oscar (gift from my youngest son) & a literal "half a cup of coffee" made of ceramic that my daughter gave me. Coffee cups are rotated daily; "Dad" mug from my oldest son, a Bugs Bunny mug from Mr. & Mrs. Mongo, a logo mug from work (back when they were giving 'em away; now they're scarcer than hen's teeth), & a big, classy-looking brown mug from "big sister" Mamavicki. Yes, I'm a bit sentimental...why do you ask? ;>

FredKey said...

Sounds like an excellent collection! Some call them desk tchotchkes; I call them sanity preservation devices.

peacelovewoodstock said...

I have a picture (a meme) of a young Arnold Schwarzenneger sitting on a bench at the gym, glowering at the camera, and someone has added the text "THE REASON YOU'RE TOO TIRED TO WORK OUT IS BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT WORKING OUT". It is a surprisingly effective motivator for me.

technochitlin said...

I have a 12" Godzilla statue that stares at me from a shelf that I can see from my desk. I got him in 1972 or thereabouts, and somehow haven't lost him in all the years since. Does that count?

FredKey said...

Godzilla always counts.

🐻 bgbear said...

I have a Kitty - Cat clock with the infectious smile. Nothing gets to the guy. Sometimes his tail and eyes stop moving but he keeps smiling. Should I worry?