Cola... of the Future!

Okay, so what the hell is Coke up to now?

Y3000 Coca-Cola is literally being sold as the Coke of AD 3000, "Created to show us an optimistic vision of what’s to come, where humanity and technology are more connected than ever." Personally I think a lot of the problems we have right now can be traced to humanity and technology being over-connected, and I'm not just being an old fart about this. In the eighties no one was addicted to smartphones, no one talked about an epidemic of loneliness, obesity rates were much lower, psychosis did not spread like the cold or flu, kids had better ambitions than to become "influencers," and the United States had a lot more good-paying jobs that weren't all about servicing the computers. 

But what the ever-loving heck does any of this have to do with soda pop?

Supposedly the formula of this stuff is "the taste of the future," but what that future is supposed to taste like, no one knows. If you listen to the World Economic Forum, it's crickets, at least if you're not part of the nomenklatura. 

Well -- spoiler alert! -- this stuff does not seem to taste like crickets to me. I thought it was all right, a nice change from other soft drinks, but it did taste familiar. After a few sips I realized that it reminded me of tea. Orange pekoe, perhaps blended with some Earl Grey. This is my opinion, but it is completely honest. In other words, I'm not being purposely weird in saying that the "taste of the future" actually tastes like cola mixed with the same soft drink we've been consuming for almost five thousand years. 

I think they should have introduced it as Multiverse Coke, or Coca-Cola if we'd lost the Revolutionary War. "This Iced Tea Pop is quite refreshing, old man! Dare I say — it is the Real Thing!"

How did Coke come to decide that this was FutureTaste? They say artificial intelligence was involved, but in what way? "Hey, AI, give us the formula for the new Coke!" You'd think they'd be touting the details, at least whatever they could divulge without exposing Coke's super secret formula that no one will ever discover. But they are mum.

I have my doubts that artificial intelligence was involved in any serious manner. As an example of AI's current state, I asked an AI image generator to give me a future man drinking soda. Here's a couple of images. 

The future is ugly, as well as stupid. 

One last note: I didn’t find this Coke in the supermarket, but rather in the dollar store, where brand ideas go to die. I thought it tasted interesting, but my wife thought it an unpleasant combination of cinnamon and other spices that didn’t go with cold soda. Maybe it would be better served hot.